My Aunt Nancy, while repeatedly utilizing the "farts-in-a-can" toy borrowed from the children]:
"You know, your Uncle Buck's Aunt Eller, who lived out on Horseshoe Bend Road, she had a naked parrot."
Me: "A what?"
Aunt Nancy: "That one was a walking fart! A naked parrot. See, we went up there one time, and she had this parrot, about this high (gestures with the fart-in-a-can toy to indicate twelve inches or so) in a cage, and it was stark naked except for a bunch of feathers on its head. She took it to a pet psychologist..."
Cousin Beth: "Where are you going?"
Me: "To get my computer and get this stuff down."
Aunt Nancy: "Oh, that was a wet one!"
Me: "What did the psychologist say?"
Aunt Nancy: "Well, I guess it had a sickness. Every time a feather came in, it yanked it straight out. That's why it was naked. Hey, give back my farts!"
Cool Dude: Impactful is not a word. Just sayin '.
Extremely Cool Woman: It's in MW unabridged. It's a word. You don't have to like it, but it's definitely a word.
Extremely Cool Woman, Yet Again: I AM A STAUNCH DESCRIPTIVIST WITH PMS FROM HELL. COME AT ME, BRO
Cool Dude: OK fine. But it is a crappy word. So there.
Extremely Cool Woman, Somewhat Calmer: I'll accept that.
Possible Fewmet*-Stirrer: I prefer "impactrocious."
Possible Fewmet-Stirrer, again: Or the more conservative "impactronic."
Dude with Alarmingly Excited Photo: I AM A LINGUIST. TELL ME WHAT A WORD IS, NON-LINGUIST.
Extremely Cool Woman, Now in Her Element: (oh no! the descriptivists' bike gang is coming for J with bike chains a-swinging!)
Cool Dude Who Is Uncool with Both "Impactful" and Proper Swear Words: Some words should be sent straight to heck. All variations on the word impact should be banished. I blame newscasters.
Unexpected Visitor: I don't love the word "impactful" but I super don't love realfarmacy dot com.
Definite Fewmet-Stirrer: Natalie Grinnell, the following needs to make it into your funniest-people-on-facebook dealie: I AM A STAUNCH DESCRIPTIVIST WITH PMS FROM HELL. COME AT ME, BRO
And as it was posted, so shall it be.
*A word which means "dragon dung," and, in this medievalist's opinion, is far more eloquent than "impactful."