Mom: Alright, I need you to do something for me. I've been waiting for two whole weeks while you were in Prague. Okay? Say you will do this for your mother?
Mom: What was that? Did you come home with a cold?! Stop that! Now this is serious and scary.
Mom: Oh, get a cough drop! Scary!
Me: Okay, what is it?
Mom: The cats keep staring at the cat castle.
Me: They are cats.
Mom: I think there's something behind it. A mouse or a snake. Go look and find out.
Mom: Yes! I am too scared to do it! You go find out...look, Leia is staring at it right now!
Me: The cats are psychopaths trying to bend us to their will. I will not be moved.
Mom: Look behind that castle right now!
Me: No. I am snuggling on the couch with my tea and two weeks of the Daily Show and this cold. If there is a snake there, leave it alone.
Mom: You are a terrible daughter. Just because you have jellylegs, you think you can get away with this.
Me: Once again, I have no idea what you're talking about.
Mom: Jellylegs! Jockylegs? Whatever you got on the plane! Go find out what is behind the castle.
Me: No, I will not. I have the jetlag and a cold and a lack of Jon Stewart. Do it yourself.
Mom: I am going to call Alyce and Watt, and they will tell you that you are a bad daughter.
Mom: I should have dropped you on your head harder when you were a baby.