Monday, November 5, 2012

Real Conversations with Mom: Football and Cute Hats

Mom: "Listen.  Are you listening?  What are you doing?"

Me:  "Well, I'm..."

Mom:  "I don't care.  Stop it, and listen.  If you see Mike tomorrow, you tell him that I'm not mad at him about the game."

Me: "I'm sure that's his top concern right now:  whether or not my mom is mad at him."

Mom:  "Now, don't you start!  My Mike sounded really depressed at the end of that football game, and he is blaming himself.  He needs a nice message from me."

Me:  "And your nice message is that you're not mad at him?"

Mom:  "Yes.  That will make him feel better.  Also, tell him how much I like his cute hat."

Me:  "His what?"

Mom:  "His cute hat that he wears in the sun.  Tell him that it makes him look sexy...ooohhh, I like that hat!"

Me:  "Mom, Mike is a former marine.  I do not think praising his cute hat is going to make him feel better about a loss."

Mom:  "That's because you don't know nothin' about football!"

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