Mom: You have been very energetic today. I approve of this.
Me: But you have been lazy today. You didn't even put on pants.
Mom: I know it. Today is a lazy day.
Me: I worked all day, first at the office, then here at home.
Mom: I love that. I love to watch other people work.
Me: I guess that makes sense. You are old now and had to work hard all of your life.
Mom: First of all, don't call me old! Second, I have always liked to watch other people work.
Me: But you don't like to talk to people that much.
Mom: No, no. I just want to watch them work. I like to watch them work hard.
Me: You should have been a queen. Or a cat.
Mom: In this house, I am the queen! And don't forget to fold those sheets. And get me some brandy.
Me: I am just a beast of burden.
Mom: Not a very good one. I'm still waiting for that brandy.