tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8744026710342812312024-03-04T23:49:45.773-08:00Funnier Than GradingNatalie Grinnellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14451685696152110716noreply@blogger.comBlogger231125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-874402671034281231.post-8053985631119443302020-11-22T09:38:00.000-08:002020-11-22T09:38:34.557-08:00More Mandalorian, Less Empathy<p> </p><h4 style="text-align: left;">Chapter 10 (Season 2, Episode 2): "The Passenger"</h4><p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">I don't know how it is that the authors of this episode thought that having Baby Yoda not only eat the eggs of a sentient species trying desperately to save itself from extinction would be funny, but they were wrong. And Disney's pathetic response about fertilization and chicken eggs is complete nonsense, as chickens are neither endangered nor sentient.</p><p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">If you are not a creepy person with no empathy who would like to see how a SF series can produce a show about an alien species trying to reproduce and running into trouble with both comedy and compassion, I recommend watching "Ephraim and Dot," from the second season of <i>Short Treks</i>. One wonders if the<span> </span><i>Mandalorian</i><span> </span>writers were deliberately dissing Star Trek's concern for non-human life forms...but one suspects they aren't even aware of it.</p><p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">In any case, I was rooting for the ice spiders.</p><h4 style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">Chapter 11 (Season 2, Episode 3): "The Heiress"</h4><p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">The Mandalorian is still trying to find another of his kind in order to lead him to the Jedi, which is really a very indirect way of going about things. In any case, as per usual, he goes to a bar where he meets a Mon Calamari who tells him about someone who can lead him to other Mandalorians.</p><p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">And I am wondering, my friends, if the writers of this episode had Baby Yoda attempt to eat a squid-octopus creature as a deliberate pun on "Mon Calamari." Given that we established after the last episode that they lack a sense of humor, one must conclude that they thought this was a real thigh-slapper.</p><p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">Perhaps because the Mon Calamari<span> </span><i>do</i><span> </span>have sense of humor, or at least of dignity, they lead the Mandalorian to a group of people who attempt to feed him and Baby Yoda to a sea monster so that they can claim his armor. One would like to think that this experience would teach Baby Yoda some damned empathy, but one suspects that not only won't that happen, but that the cliché "eat or be eaten" will become a tedious metaphor running throughout the entire series.</p><p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">Someone, some where, will call this being "dark" or "realistic." Meanwhile, over on<span> </span><i>Star Trek Discovery</i>, Cleveland "Book" Booker is a trader in a harsh, post-Burn galaxy, who nevertheless risks his life to save endangered species like the tranceworm named Molly.</p><p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">Moving right along, the Mandalorian and Baby Yoda are rescued by a bunch of Mandalorians with decorated helmets and bad ass moves! Also, their leader is female, and could it be...? Yes, she removes her helmet, and it is Bo Katan, the last holder of the Darksaber, played by Katee Sackoff, of<span> </span><i>Battlestar Galactica</i><span> </span>fame. But what is this? She and her companions remove their helmets, and the Mandalorian is all shocked and horrified and claims they are not real Mandalorians---Fool! <span> </span><i>You fool!</i> Bo Katan is THE Mandalorian, compared to which you are only a pseudo-Mandalorian.</p><p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">To prove that, she rescues his arrogant ass a second time, and tries to explain to him that he is part of an underground cult of extremists and has never even<span> </span><i>been</i><span> </span>to Mandalore, so get off his high horse, thank you very much. Anyway, she knows where to find the jedi.</p><p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">This is a big relief to me, dearest readers, for I could not figure out how Sabine Wren and Bo Katan were of the same tradition as the Pseudo-Mandalorian of this series, and knowing he's just part of some post-disaster religious cult makes everything much clearer.</p><p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">Bo Katan says she will help Pseudo-Mandalorian find a jedi if he helps her steal some weapons from the Empire-ish group, as she eventually plans to retake Mandalore. He agrees, and in a horrific scene, they leave Baby Yoda with the couple whose eggs he kept eating last episode, and..I'm just not going to talk about that anymore.</p><p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">There are a number of exciting action scenes aboard the ship with the weapons which confirm that storm troopers still can't shoot worth a damn, but that Mandalorian helmets have heat-detecting vision. My favorite moment, though, is when Bo Katan reveals that she's not there just to steal the weapons, but the whole ship. Pseudo-Mandalorian objects that she's "changing the deal," and she replies "This is the way."</p><p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">Now<span> </span><i>that</i><span> </span>was funny.</p><p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">They succeed, but when Bo Katan tries to interrogate the ship's captain to find Moff Gideon and retrieve the dark saber, he swallows poison. Nevertheless, Pseudo-Mandalorian was great in the fight, and Bo Katan tells him where to find...yes!...Ahsoka Tano. </p><p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">Amusingly, the Mon Calamari have done a crappy job repairing the Razorcrest, but since the episode ends with Baby Yoda eating another squid-octopus thing, one can hardy blame them.</p><h4 style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">Chapter 12 (Season 2, Episode 4): "The Siege"</h4><p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: medium; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">There are a few interesting plot developments in this episode, but here are the most pertinent facts:</p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Gina Carrano returns as the Alderaanian fighter Cara Dune, who admits to having lost everyone when Alderaan was destroyed.</li><li>Shortly before this episode aired, Carrano shared a meme making fun of (democrats) requiring people to wear masks to help control the spread of the coronavirus.</li><li>As of this date, over 250, 000 Americans have died of Covid-19</li></ul><div><i>Nothing</i><span> </span>that happens in this episode was sufficient to distract me from the appalling behavior of someone who would politicize and make light of attempts to control this disease. </div><div><br /></div><div>A new season of the<span> </span><i>Expanse</i><span> </span>begins on December 19.</div><p><br /></p>Natalie Grinnellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14451685696152110716noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-874402671034281231.post-36975640510466676152020-10-31T13:29:00.000-07:002020-10-31T13:29:46.261-07:00Mandalorian Review, Spiced with Entertaining Bits of Star Trek Discovery<p>
</p><p class="MsoNormal">And so <i>Mandalorian</i>, Season 2 has begun, and it
amuses me to continue to provide commentary, but only if I can spice it with
bits of commentary on Season 3 of <i>Star Trek Discovery</i> because that will
make this blog entertaining for even fewer people than it was before.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Alright, here we go, Chapter 9: “The Marshal”</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The episode begins with a recap of season 1, and I have been
wondering for a while why these recaps exist.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Most of the people watching this show will have binge-watched Season 1
right before Season 2 started, so the purpose has been puzzling the hell out of
me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s not like back in the day, when
you needed these recaps if you started a series in the middle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think, however, I have figured it out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I theorize, my friends, that these recaps are
solely for people in relationships with a lover, a spouse, a parent, a child—someone
who is a big fan and has badgered their loved one into watching a favorite show—and
that loved one has no intention of watching every episode just to catch up on
the story.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They have reluctantly agreed
to watch a single episode to find out whether or not it’s any good.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The recaps, therefore, are for the poor,
badgered newbies, and I just want them to know:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>you are seen, my friends, and this blog entry is dedicated to you!</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Once the episode starts, the Mandalorian is on a new planet,
and though it kind of looks like Mos Eisley, you can tell it’s not Tatooine
because of all the graffiti.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I suppose
I could stop and try to figure out what the graffiti says, but to be honest, I
don’t really care.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><i>Star Trek Discovery</i> premiered a couple of weeks ago,
so they are on Episode 3 this week, and I can note that they have jumped
forward 1000 years from the 23<sup>rd</sup> century where they began, and that
means they can go to the same planets, but use all new sets and not be accused
of ruining canon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Very clever, <i>Discovery</i>
writers, very clever.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The Mandalorian goes to some kind of boxing match between
two Gamorreans<a href="#_ftn1" name="_ftnref1" style="mso-footnote-id: ftn1;" title=""><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="mso-special-character: footnote;"><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">[1]</span></span></span></span></a> (Jabba
the Hutt employed such as guards in <i>Return of the Jedi</i>; they are not any
more pleasant in this episode). He’s after finding some info about another
Mandalorian who can supposedly help him start searching for Baby Yoda’s people,
and…that makes no sense whatsoever.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’s
looking for Jedi.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why isn’t he tracking
mysterious sorcerers?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Someone, somewhere,
just wants to slow down the plot and add Boba Fett to this series.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Boba Fett was kind of cool because he just
nodded and never said much.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I do not
think familiarity will add to his coolness factor.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I would rather see Sabine Wren or Ahsoka Tano,
but I feel I will be disappointed, alas.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">So after a betrayal and a fight scene, the Mandalorian finds
out that there is rumor of another one of his…way?...on Tatooine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Also, he hangs this guy by his feet from a
lamp post, shoots out the light, and leaves him to be eaten by creatures with
red eyes, so that he doesn’t technically kill the guy, as he promises that he
won’t die by his hand.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I suppose someone
thinks this is cool.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think it
undermines my empathy for the character.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The fight scene, by the way, isn’t bad at all, but it is
boring compared to the fight scene in Episode 2 of <i>Star Trek Discovery</i>
where Michelle Yeoh just destroys an entire bar full of bad guys in <i>their</i>
faux-western episode, and I am going to say it right now:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t care how much armor and how many
little bird missiles the Mandalorian collects, Michelle Yeoh could take him
down without breaking a sweat, my friends.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>You go watch her character and come back and tell me I’m wrong.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I’m not wrong.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Back to Tatooine, and the Mandalorian borrows a speeder bike
and goes out to a miserable mining town to try to track down another
Mandalorian.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He rides into the town,
down the main street, <i>really slowly</i>, while townspeople look at him
silently or shut their doors like every single cowboy entering every single
town in every single western ever filmed before stopping and tying up his horse…I
mean bike…and going into the saloon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Ugh.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Really?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of course, the person wearing Mandalorian
armor is the town Marshal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">We know immediately he is not a Mandalorian because he takes
off his helmet and also because it’s obviously Boba Fett’s armor, last seen
canonically when he was swallowed by the Sarlacc.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And this guy is not Boba Fett.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">You know, the closing scene of Episode 1 of the third season
of <i>Star Trek Discovery</i> made me tear up, not just because they hang up
the Federation Flag and make an officer of this wonderfully dedicated guy whose
been keeping the idea of Starfleet and the Federation going, all alone, for
decades, but because that moving closing scene has three actors in it, and not a
single one of them is white.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not only
does <i>Discovery</i> repeatedly pass the Bechdel test, y’all, but it consistently
passes the Vito Russo and DuVernay tests, as well, which you cannot say for the
<i>Mandalorian</i>.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Yet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There is much we
don’t know about the Mandalorian.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And Baby
Yoda, for that matter.<a href="#_ftn2" name="_ftnref2" style="mso-footnote-id: ftn2;" title=""><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="mso-special-character: footnote;"><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">[2]</span></span></span></span></a></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">The plot of this episode is that the Marshal will give Boba
Fett’s armor to the Mandalorian if he helps slay a Krayt dragon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The subplot is that the Mandalorian speaks
Tuskan Raider and likes their lizard dogs, so he can broker peace between the townspeople
and the sandpeople (even though they prefer to kill each other) long enough to
kill the dragon.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">That is <i>also</i> the plot of the third episode of this
season of <i>Star Trek Discovery</i>, where the Discovery crew force the government
of earth and a group of raiders to figure out that they are all more or less
human and can make a deal to help each other instead of blowing up ships and
stealing dilithium.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There are many more
bombs and a dragon in the <i>Mandalorian</i>, but while the dragon is very, very
cool, Michelle Yeoh is cooler, and when she slams a guy to the ground, pulls
off his helmet, and tells everyone that “diplomacy is so slow,” everyone who has
ever been in a committee meeting wants to high five her and buy her a drink.</p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I am not kidding.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’d
really like to have a drink with Michelle Yeoh and talk about absolutely
anything.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'm sure she would read this blog
post and call me up right away, were it not for the coronavirus.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Damn you, virus!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Of course, there is another difference between the two shows:
Star Trek has this tradition of trying, no matter how batshit the plot is or
awful the problem, to show Starfleet people as evolved sorts who usually try to
do the right thing and bring peace, even if they talk a lot and need Michelle Yeoh
to cut through the b.s.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In Star Wars,
diplomacy fails so often that it’s a wonder it <i>ever</i> works.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So even though they have a plan to blow up
the dragon and spend endless hours gathering explosives and drawing the dragon
out of its cave and risking their lives…in the end, the Mandalorian just uses
his jet pack, some bombs, and a poor, innocent bantha to fly into the dragon’s
mouth and explode it from the inside which isn’t a plot point we’ve ever seen
before when a hero meets a giant monster…oh, wait.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes, we have.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Many, many times.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Anyhow, Boba Fett poses in front of a landscape painting at
the end of the episode, so it will satisfy the fan boys.</p>
<div style="mso-element: footnote-list;"><br clear="all" />
<hr align="left" size="1" width="33%" />
<div id="ftn1" style="mso-element: footnote;">
<p class="MsoFootnoteText"><a href="#_ftnref1" name="_ftn1" style="mso-footnote-id: ftn1;" title=""><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="mso-special-character: footnote;"><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">[1]</span></span></span></span></a> I
looked up “Gamorrean guards” on the internets because I couldn’t remember how
to spell the name of their species, and what I found out is that there is a LOT
of porn based on these creatures, and I really, really wish I didn’t know that.</p>
</div>
<div id="ftn2" style="mso-element: footnote;">
<p class="MsoFootnoteText"><a href="#_ftnref2" name="_ftn2" style="mso-footnote-id: ftn2;" title=""><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="mso-special-character: footnote;"><span class="MsoFootnoteReference"><span style="font-family: "Calibri",sans-serif; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">[2]</span></span></span></span></a> If
you do not know what these tests are, google them, my friends, and then you can
say you learned something from reading this blog, which is a shocking and
delightful thing.</p>
</div>
</div>
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{page:WordSection1;}</style></p>Natalie Grinnellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14451685696152110716noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-874402671034281231.post-29589011315857271232020-07-08T20:44:00.003-07:002020-07-08T21:05:27.645-07:00Reviews of Episodes 7 and 8 of *The Mandalorian*<br />
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I have taken the blog back from Leia the Cat, as she got
bored with it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And with me.
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So I have returned to reviewing the first season of the
<i>Mandalorian</i>, just for the sake of completeness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am going to warn you that this review is not as funny as the others because I am quite put out with the writers, so much so that I threaten to write an academic article at them.</div>
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Which is, you know, a pretty serious threat.</div>
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<b>Mandalorian, Episode 7: “The Reckoning”</b></div>
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Episode 7 begins with a little hologram message from the Guild leader
who was shot.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The hologram is much
higher quality than the one that Leia sends to Obiwan in <i>Star Wars</i>, and
if they were this good in real life, then teaching remotely might not be so
exhausting.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Or maybe it would.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
don’t know.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Anyway, he wants the Mandalorian to come work with him one
more time because…I don’t know…there is some nameless threat to both of them
out there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And probably to Baby Yoda
too, which is the real point.</div>
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<br /></div>
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So now we are on a sunny planet where Xena, Star Wars
Edition, is fighting with a guy, and they are linked by red lightning that
appears to be coming from their genitals, and…even though she wins, this is
clearly written by men.</div>
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Mandalorian and Baby Yoda show up and offer her a job.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She tries to turn him down, but agrees
because she likes fighting Imperials, I guess.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>While they talk about the plan, Baby Yoda spies on them, which seems like
a good idea on its part.</div>
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It is interesting that Baby Yoda’s species doesn’t seem to
need any training to use the Force; I wonder why not.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I do not think I will find out in the <i>Mandalorian</i>.</div>
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And…now we are back on Nevarro, the planet where this all
started.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It has deserts and, apparently,
rivers of lava, which makes it a terrible hybrid of Tatooine and Mustafar.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They
go visit Pig Nolte, because this is the part of the story where we assemble Our
Gang of Heroes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He says Baby Yoda is too
ugly to have been engineered artificially, but Star Wars Xena looks like
someone designed her, which is…Pig Nolte’s way of picking up girls?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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Anyway, Pig Nolte has rebuilt the twisty droid according to
some kind of New Republic salvage law and taught it to do things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I do not like that that droid is salvage; droids
are obviously meant to be the slave class in Star Wars, and I kind of hope
Twisty Droid wipes out the biologicals, but instead it…makes tea. Okay.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Once again, that seems a waste of technology.</div>
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Pig Nolte finally tells the Mandalorian his name when
refusing to join his little gang, and then gives a lecture on the nature of
droids, and says he’ll only join the gang if he can take his droid and his
blurbs?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Oh, right, his pig lizard.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So each member of Our Gang has first said no,
then said yes, and I am starting to appreciate the Flash from the terrible <i>Justice
League</i> movie, just because he didn’t play hard to get like everybody else.</div>
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So Baby Yoda tries to force choke Star Wars Xena, and they
FINALLY figure out that it can use the Force, but instead of talking about it,
Pig Nolte gives an outraged lecture about being an Imperial slave while the
droid watches.</div>
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The droid is the slave, ya’ll.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ever since “We don’t serve their kind here,”
we have known that they are treated like poo in Star Wars.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You know what?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I bet the droid dies.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That will be the character arc—it dies and
the Mandalorian learns a lesson and…this is how they treat black characters in
primarily white films, ya’ll.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wtf?!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why do we need a race of disposable
characters to catalyze change in the hero?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I’m actually pretty pissed about this.</div>
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<br /></div>
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But the Mandalorian is determined to hate all droids at this
point, even though he looks like a droid himself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This character trait is getting more
annoying, not less, and I hope we dispense with it before Season 2.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Ahsoka Tano is supposed to appear in Season 2, which might
be enough for me to watch it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Darn you,
Disney!</div>
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The Guild guy meets them and is introduced to Baby Yoda,
who, to my disappointment, does not immediately force choke him, because you
know he is up to no good.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Everyone goes
back to this same boring western town, now occupied by former Imperials.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Pig Nolte feeds Baby Yoda meat of some
kind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He has not explained about the
Force, which is apparently a “rumor”—and I still don’t get this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There were inquisitors running around all
through the Empire stealing Force-powerful children—so how is it no one knows
what the Force is?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Do they think they
were stealing children for the hell of it?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I do not like this Disney canon which makes the Jedi, including Luke and
Leia, obscure legends even after they kill the Emperor.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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Anyway, there is a shootout, and the Guild guy is shot; Baby
Yoda to the rescue!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He heals the Guild
guy with the Force, just like Rey does in the <i>Rise of Skywalker</i>.</div>
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Okay, this is the fourth shot of the gang all lined up
against a landscape painting, and it’s starting to seem like they are just
creating a bunch of zoom backgrounds.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Guild guy explains (to no one’s surprise) that he was going to double
cross them and steal Baby Yoda, but now since he was healed, he doesn’t want to
any more even if it violates the Code.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>They make up some other tedious plan to confront the Imperial client and
send Pig Nolte and Baby Yoda back to the ship to hide.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They ride on a pig lizard across the plains of
Mordor to the ship while dramatic music plays.</div>
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<br /></div>
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They take the empty floaty chair to meet the client, who
gives them a stupid lecture on the Empire, then takes a holocall from Moff Gideon,
and the whole time, Xena Star Wars is getting more and more pissed at seeing
more and more stormtroopers because Guild guy said there were only four.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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Moff Gideon shows up with something that the internets tell
me is an Outland TIE fighter, which is pretty much the coolest thing in this
episode, and a ton of troops, and sends troops on speeder bikes to catch Pig
Nolte and Baby Yoda.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Oh, Pig Nolte is
dead, and Baby Yoda is in the hands of the not-Empire!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What will happen?</div>
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Reviewers like this episode because most of the characters
come back together to face off with the Moff and Save the Baby.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am…disturbed…and I am ready to start an uprising
on behalf of the droids.</div>
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<b>Episode 8: “Redemption”</b></div>
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This episode starts with my favorite scene in the whole
series, as two stormtroopers on the speeders argue and complain to each
other.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They are pretty funny.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I give this scene a thumbs up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These guys are my favorite troopers (not
counting Finn, of course).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Twisty droid
shows up to rescue Baby Yoda, who they mistake for…a nurse.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He beats them senseless and rescues the
baby.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You know, my cousin Bekah is a
nurse, and I think she could do this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>She is pretty bad ass.</div>
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Our Gang is trapped in a room, and they try, to my great
amusement, to escape down the sewers, but when they go all Leia on the sewer
grill, it does not break at all, so they cannot leap into the trash.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Really, the Death Star was shoddily constructed
in many ways, wasn’t it?</div>
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Moff Gideon threatens them and gives them a deadline
before opening fire, <i>which makes no sense whatsoever</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now we get the whole flashback to the
Mandalorian’s childhood and find out that “Mandalorian” is not a race but a
creed, and I still don’t think that fits since Mandalore is a planet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe they wiped out the whole planet under
the Empire.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Rumor says Sabine Wren might
also appear next season, and I am telling you, she is going to be pissed off.</div>
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This is a VERY long childhood flashback to explain how the
Mandalorian became a Mandalorian.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A droid
killed his parents; a Mandalorian saved him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>So he will don a mask and train in an underground lair, and strike fear
into the hearts of cowardly droids as he stalks the Gotham…I mean, the Nevarro
nights as…a bounty hunter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Following a…creed?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of bounty hunting?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And a Way of Mandalore?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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For a long flashback, this is not explained all that well.</div>
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Anyway, back to the fighting.</div>
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Twisty Droid shows up wearing Baby Yoda in a backpack and
just destroys these stormtroopers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Go,
Twisty Droid!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s part of the IG
series, which you might know because IG-88 was one of the bounty hunters hired
to track down the Millennium Falcon in the <i>Empire Strikes Back</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Based on what I am seeing here, Han and Leia
and Chewie would have been toast if IG-88 had caught them instead of Boba
Fett.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But everyone is all hyper for Boba
Fett.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>More bias towards biologicals,
obviously.</div>
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So Twisty Droid blows the grid so they can go down in the sewers
and the Mandalorian is injured and probably dying and says to leave him behind…but…Baby
Yoda stands up and uses the Force all over the Imperials, giving everyone else time
to get into the sewers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Twisty droid
stays to protect the Mandalorian, and the Mandalorian is like, “Kill me,” but
the Droid has been reprogrammed and will not kill him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now, the Mandalorian has to remove his helmet
to be healed; it also tells him a joke.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It is not a good joke.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But it’s
okay to take off his helmet because this does not violate the Way because Twisty
Droid is not a life form, and…now I am getting angry again.</div>
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This episode seems unusually long.</div>
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Somehow, they catch up to the rest of the gang in the sewers
(which also does not make sense).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ah,
here are piles of old Mandalorian armor, some of it artistically painted, which
I approve of.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But it looks like all of
the Mandalorians in the jet packs have been wiped out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Armourer is alive, though, and she says
the imperials wiped them out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She wants
to see Baby Yoda.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Ah, she knows what the Jedi are.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sort of.</div>
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Anyway, now “the Way” is to find Baby Yoda’s home and “return
him to a race of enemy sorcerers”; in the meantime, he has to be its
father.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This Way keeps getting more
complicated, like how the Grand Nagus keeps adding Rules of Acquisition.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Who can keep up?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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Now the Mandalorian gets a signet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And a jet pack.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And a bunch of weapons.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is convenient.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I did not know you could find all of this in
the sewers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Anyway, she tells them the
way out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then stormtroopers come, and
she takes a hammer and absolutely destroys them all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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Now there is…a plain of lava?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And…a red R2 droid with long arms and legs piloting
a boat over the lake of fire, and we will just go ahead and call it Charon,
shall we?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And…here is the final character
arc…Twisty Droid will sacrifice its life to save Baby Yoda, and now the
Mandalorian can’t hate droids anymore.</div>
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<br /></div>
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I hate you, <i>Star Wars Mandalorian</i> writers; I really
hate you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Do you <i>want</i> me to write
an academic article on the creation of a slave race in <i>Star Wars</i> using
clichéd tropes for black characters in science fiction?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Do you?!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Because it seems like you do.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Anyhow, Our Gang escapes and says goodbye to dramatic music
while the Mandalorian flies off to his ship with his jet pack.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He buries Pig Nolte before he flies away with
Baby Yoda, who has stolen an ugly piece of jewelry.</div>
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And then my other favorite scene, as we see Moff Gideon has
survived the crash of his TIE figher, and he cuts his way out using…the Darksaber.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And THAT is why Ahsoka Tano has to show up next
season and find out how the heck a Moff got this stupid sword after all the
trouble she went to to get it into the hands of Bo-Katan.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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Anyway, the <i>Mandalorian’s</i> last episode was better than
the beginning of the show, but aside from the appearance of the Darksaber, it
was pretty predictable, filled with racist clichés applied to droids, and mostly
makes me want to go watch <i>Star Wars: Rebels</i> again.</div>
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div.WordSection1
{page:WordSection1;}</style>Natalie Grinnellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14451685696152110716noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-874402671034281231.post-50255949888659400642020-05-18T22:59:00.001-07:002020-05-18T22:59:42.364-07:00Yet Another Set of Pandemic Updates from Leia the Cat<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrCcAJAIJCZc3KL2vBkp0cUsJUpukXC84G6HefLcGlYhWUp0e-83hNbOKXi4U_tZL_y47z0l1u5Z_yKFEV-VSkHRLLJAwZ-H0K6BrJ4j8Bm0vVkr7TtM1p5loSL648IPzTQvgIDACSzgo/s1600/LeiaComputer.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="960" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrCcAJAIJCZc3KL2vBkp0cUsJUpukXC84G6HefLcGlYhWUp0e-83hNbOKXi4U_tZL_y47z0l1u5Z_yKFEV-VSkHRLLJAwZ-H0K6BrJ4j8Bm0vVkr7TtM1p5loSL648IPzTQvgIDACSzgo/s320/LeiaComputer.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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April 25: <span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #1c1e21; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">Apparently, the human is having vivd and disturbing dreams. Today, she explained that in the event of a zombie attack, my job is to "create a diversion." I already have a plan in place for a zombie attack; it does not involve the rescue of mentally disturbed humans who are late with breakfast.</span><br />
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April 26: <span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #1c1e21; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">More meteorological excess last night tempted the human to sleep past my breakfast time. She discovered that she still has plenty of bandaids, and that my breakfast is not to be delayed for thunderstorms.</span><br />
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<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #1c1e21; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">Update from Spike the Other Cat: very scary storm. I cried and cried and peed in the hallway. Mommy yelled but then I got snuggles.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhARJ1JiJe09j56FDv2dR6tZX5st3ZEsQp8wV8He8j2SLWh3QlCLB94UhM5AeVWQeUZ_kCthnkBkxA5KUSyCqkq0_h_gLTd23hHDzsEBP1i0SlvDK3RXoVJgIQLOvUVQwvNqlVYgQBwvaQ/s1600/SpikeComputer.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="960" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhARJ1JiJe09j56FDv2dR6tZX5st3ZEsQp8wV8He8j2SLWh3QlCLB94UhM5AeVWQeUZ_kCthnkBkxA5KUSyCqkq0_h_gLTd23hHDzsEBP1i0SlvDK3RXoVJgIQLOvUVQwvNqlVYgQBwvaQ/s320/SpikeComputer.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #1c1e21; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"> </span><br /><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #1c1e21; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"></span><br />
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<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #1c1e21; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">Update from Natalie the Human: Both of these cats are damned drama queens. I miss my students. They may occasionally complain, but they never pee on my stuff.</span><br />
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April 27: <span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #1c1e21; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">The human slept on and off most of the day murmuring listlessly about "barometric changes" and "sinuses." While this means I regained control of my territory AND had a warm place to sit throughout the day, experience has shown that she and Spike will do something embarrassing and energetic at 3am tonight.</span><br />
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April 28: <span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #1c1e21; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">The human has been working on the cat warming machine all day, but she has also been sneezing, loudly, the entire time. I have three times attempted to make her desist by placing a gentle paw across her face, but this has not improved the situation. More aggressive methods will need to be enacted if things do not improve, as her "allergies" are disrupting the peace of the household.</span><br />
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April 29: <span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #1c1e21; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">The human rescued Spike from a very small spider today, which had provoked him into huddling in the corner and crying. Instead of killing the invader, however, the human placed it outside the domicile, explaining that "spiders serve an important ecological niche as they are necessary for the creation of new superheroes." Had I been quicker, I would have killed it dead.</span><br />
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April 30: <span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #1c1e21; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">After taking out the trash (again, with the stupid "Danger Zone" song), the human put herself in "time out" for tracking mud across the floor that she had just mopped. She also instructed herself to leave wet shoes on the front porch, "or heads will roll!" I miss the cleaning lady; she does not sing or shout at herself.</span><br />
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May 1: <span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #1c1e21; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">Today I was a bit bored, so I entertained myself by hiding between the shower curtain and the shower curtain liner until the human walked near enough for me to tap her on the foot. Her screams were gratifying.</span> <br />
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May 2: <span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #1c1e21; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">The human spent many hours typing on the cat warming device today, muttering about grading. Her only pause was a bizarre rant on the topic of "why it's always the starboard coupling, answer me that that? I know you can't; it has to be a design flaw--so much for 24th century engineering." I took her lapse into madness as an opportunity to steal the cheese off of her sandwich.</span><br />
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May 3: <span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #1c1e21; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">The human left the domicile today! Unfortunately, within 30 minutes, she came back.</span><br />
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May 4: <span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #1c1e21; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">Today the human was punished by the fates for not sharing her chicken with me, as she spilled a 1000-piece jigsaw puzzle on the dining room floor. Note: humans are pretty disgusting when they cry.</span><br />
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May 5: <span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #1c1e21; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">Another hailstorm, another overly dramatic breakdown on Spike's part.</span><br />
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May 6: <span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #1c1e21; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">The human attempted to bond with us today by discussing the best food to be found in the Detroit airport as well as a gathering place called "Bilbo's Pizza." I do not know what either of these has to do with medieval studies, but I do know that I am not receiving my customary Five Days of Intense Spoiling by the Neighbors which I look forward to each May. I am VERY unhappy.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJYKp4lVb5BNjJMmMXPIiK1MtetrmJnSKn5xPKmm6A2yVLhiGTnV-XLPKFTpndRBSJmtjoy0qi3ZbcCpoCYkz3Pq03ZQz4x4r873JM7cTB7xiiwCYmte52vkMxx1LQk4eMRmmiiaWNmIE/s1600/LeiaClose.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="960" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJYKp4lVb5BNjJMmMXPIiK1MtetrmJnSKn5xPKmm6A2yVLhiGTnV-XLPKFTpndRBSJmtjoy0qi3ZbcCpoCYkz3Pq03ZQz4x4r873JM7cTB7xiiwCYmte52vkMxx1LQk4eMRmmiiaWNmIE/s320/LeiaClose.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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May 7: <span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #1c1e21; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">Today the human complained that she didn't have any wine "bad enough" for the traditional wine hour. Honestly, this pandemic has clearly given her brain damage.</span><br />
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May 8: <span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #1c1e21; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">The human, whose cleaning skills are rather weak in the best of times, attempted to dance with a mop last night while cleaning the floor of Spike's vomit. Naturally, she crashed in an undignified heap. After much overly dramatic shouting, she spent most of today in Spike's chair with her right rear paw elevated and encased in a bag of frozen peas. Worse yet, when she does bother to move, she does so with the assistance of two long sticks, one of which came close to crushing my tail!</span><br />
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May 9: <span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #1c1e21; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">The human left the frozen peas on a stool within reach of Spike for ten minutes. I spent the afternoon in the front bedroom out of range of both the rolling peas and the swearing.</span><br />
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May 10: <span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #1c1e21; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">The human seemed lonely today, so I made sure that I sat on at least one of her body parts at all times, including when she was using the bathroom. In spite of this affection, my dinner was 22 minutes late.</span><br />
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May 11: <span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #1c1e21; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">Today, when I was trying to groom myself in peace, I was subjected to a rant from the human on the theme of "Why Starting a Sentence in an Essay with the Phrase, 'I Don't Mean to Be Offensive, But...' Should Result in a Grade of -2000." I do not care about student essays, but my human earned a D- today for lack of dignity alone.</span><br />
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May 13, 8am: I did not update yesterday because the human was boring.<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #1c1e21; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 24px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 300; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><br /></span><br />
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May 13: <span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #1c1e21; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">By Bast's holy tail, what is Frozen 2, and why is it on continual loop?!</span> <br />
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May 14: <span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #1c1e21; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">I have finally established that the front bedroom is Mine every afternoon--no humans, no orange cats--Mine alone. I need a few hours of solitude each day to preserve my sanity.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuuNGQpDqbCPDBWzVz0GHD_GkwWDefCh3SEqxTo6UBHklNLqEeadsajjt5awwdOFgOB8Iqao5Z2driPFovCvGfbZhnpWWFqja3IODVwCKou7I5ayg8E94g02HWS_bEptAw6nlS1PR72lU/s1600/LeiaProfile.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="721" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuuNGQpDqbCPDBWzVz0GHD_GkwWDefCh3SEqxTo6UBHklNLqEeadsajjt5awwdOFgOB8Iqao5Z2driPFovCvGfbZhnpWWFqja3IODVwCKou7I5ayg8E94g02HWS_bEptAw6nlS1PR72lU/s320/LeiaProfile.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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May 15: <span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #1c1e21; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">Someone sent the human Star Wars socks. The human attempted to see how they would look on ME, a decision she will regret at her leisure.</span><br />
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May 16: <span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #1c1e21; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">The human spent several hours this afternoon wearing a blue head covering and watching something she called "classic baseball." Then she sighed deeply and took a long nap, allowing me to do my nails in peace.</span> <br />
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May 17: <span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #1c1e21; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">The human went outside today to "do battle with invasive species," and Spike ran out onto the front porch. After much drama, he ran back in, carrying a mouse he had caught. Instead of killing it, however, he released it into the house. Eventually, I had to bestir myself from my afternoon nap to kill it myself and deposit it in the human's slipper. Neither the human nor Spike expressed any appreciation, of course.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3YihvLp4rAQmUw3gcDmOO8g_EZ0vIF8vYkQMCqGAyFl7zK4M3WIiF-yxmYjGRXOecfTO8mWIDTtahYYZvwVicCVB0VGSUWvfKGOzz_ijzISbj-KtW2-vVSYZGEx4YHRKOlUGeHeNSssU/s1600/SpikeSleepy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="719" data-original-width="960" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3YihvLp4rAQmUw3gcDmOO8g_EZ0vIF8vYkQMCqGAyFl7zK4M3WIiF-yxmYjGRXOecfTO8mWIDTtahYYZvwVicCVB0VGSUWvfKGOzz_ijzISbj-KtW2-vVSYZGEx4YHRKOlUGeHeNSssU/s320/SpikeSleepy.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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May 18: <span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #1d2129; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">When the human took out the recycling today, she let a fly into the house. While I used the bug to contemplate the brevity of existence and the relative nature of time and space, Spike broke a glass, pulled down the bedroom curtains, and killed something called an "ipad mini." The fly left the domicile unmolested when the human brought in the mail. It's been over a decade, and I still do not understand why this household needed a second cat.</span>Natalie Grinnellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14451685696152110716noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-874402671034281231.post-52641079348539726352020-04-24T10:53:00.000-07:002020-04-24T10:53:22.874-07:00Yet Another Series of Pandemic Updates from Leia the Cat<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpu07SeTSqjN2xyd_QftDrg90LBmV9iLjhncqpRxS5I82orV9q1Nd41VMu28pOs3505se_UgTJxdPY2EDSRXiR6WUgvDnJr-aQtMfXiEN9vsXxDTL-Rm7jtAn3z2X0IpZqm6L5VYQyRnw/s1600/LeiaSun.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="960" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpu07SeTSqjN2xyd_QftDrg90LBmV9iLjhncqpRxS5I82orV9q1Nd41VMu28pOs3505se_UgTJxdPY2EDSRXiR6WUgvDnJr-aQtMfXiEN9vsXxDTL-Rm7jtAn3z2X0IpZqm6L5VYQyRnw/s320/LeiaSun.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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April 16: <span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #1c1e21; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">Today was bright, and I was able to nap in the sunbeam in front of the door to the domicile. That allowed me to witness several humans leaving packages on the front porch. All of these humans wore masks. While I appreciate the effort, even with face coverings, humans are graceless and ugly compared to cats.</span><br />
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April 17: <span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #1c1e21; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">the human attempted to convince Spike and me that we had to walk only on pillows scattered across the living room "to avoid stepping in the burning lava!" She grew quite alarmed when we did not play this ridiculous game. I thought about indulging her. Then I thought again.</span><br />
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April 18: <span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #1c1e21; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">I do not know who Billie Jean is or why she demands the "moonwalk," but if I meet her, I will vomit a hairball onto her shoes. My human, incidentally, now appears to be limping.</span><br />
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April 19: <span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #1c1e21; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">Today was a relaxing day except for the half-hour lecture the human gave me on the uses and misuses of the apostrophe, a subject both tedious and unnecessary for an evolved creature such as myself. I have to admit to being surprised that this sort of thing passes for knowledge among humans.</span><br />
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April 20: <span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #1c1e21; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">the human engaged in something called a "primal scream" today. I engaged in clawing the bedroom drapes in response.</span><br />
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April 21: <span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #1c1e21; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">Spike incurred the wrath of the human today by standing in a bowl of pasta sauce to more effectively steal cheese. After a bath in the sink <shudder> the hair dryer was inflicted upon him. It did not go well. During all of this chaos, I, of course, ate the cheese.</span><br />
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April 22: <span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #1c1e21; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">the human heard something on the loud screen today and kept typing "face masks for cats" into the cat warming device and promising to protect us from the apocalypse. She was twenty minutes late with my dinner, however.</span><br />
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April 23: <span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #1c1e21; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span></span>the human "sang" the song "Danger Zone" by the execrable Kenny Loggins in preparation for rolling the garbage can to the curb. I am giving her my butt for the rest of the evening.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgt-cx0SLsFmE_WOmlk9vKXJXCXJ3uLj2Tql6HDVxTUAzEIoZ84sixQ6Liapv7KoGKCKpu7NeuqQ7uCSlOP5x5IqTlw07h130ydi8IX_eeXhPiMurv1pdU6JgUpOBcbsPv_mBHxsc2ONOU/s1600/LeiaSpike.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="692" data-original-width="960" height="230" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgt-cx0SLsFmE_WOmlk9vKXJXCXJ3uLj2Tql6HDVxTUAzEIoZ84sixQ6Liapv7KoGKCKpu7NeuqQ7uCSlOP5x5IqTlw07h130ydi8IX_eeXhPiMurv1pdU6JgUpOBcbsPv_mBHxsc2ONOU/s320/LeiaSpike.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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April 24: <span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: white; color: #1d2129; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, system-ui, ".SFNSText-Regular", sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">last night, when she SHOULD have been asleep, the human began stalking back and forth, pausing only to floridly display a single claw on each hand. This is a hostile gesture among her kind, here aimed at someone recommending "lysol injections" and "uv light to fight viruses." Today, I persuaded Spike to nap ostentatiously in a sunbeam, just to mess with her.</span>Natalie Grinnellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14451685696152110716noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-874402671034281231.post-66213702496704391472020-04-15T23:31:00.000-07:002020-04-15T23:31:40.035-07:00Pandemic Updates from Leia the Cat, 2nd Week of April 2020
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8: </span><span style="background: white; color: #1c1e21; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The
human has cleaned and organized the room referred to as "home office"
today. She appears to have done this by moving all of the mayhem and flotsam
from that room into another room. I really do not understand human behavior.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">April
9: </span><span style="background: white; color: #1c1e21; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The
human had three "meetings" at which she spoke into the cat warming
device. I attended the third, interposing myself between the screen and the
human and receiving adequate head scratching as a result. While I prefer the
human's undivided attention when I demand it, the praise I received from the
voices coming from the cat warming device was surprisingly gratifying.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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10: </span><span style="background: white; color: #1c1e21; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Today
the human sat around reading books. And more books. Finally I sat on the books
and received appropriate attentions. Then she nudged me aside and went back to
books. I do NOT approve.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">April
11: </span><span style="background: white; color: #1c1e21; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The
human attempted to lecture me today about sleeping and rolling around on the
cat warming device. Apparently, this sends messages that no one can decipher. I
will, of course, continue to do as I please.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">April
12: </span><span style="background: white; color: #1c1e21; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The
human arose from her bed at 3am last night, went into the dining room with a
basket of old cat toys, and encased six of them inside egg-shaped plastic
vessels. Then she wandered around the house depositing them in various
locations. This morning, she attempted to persuade Spike to "find"
the "kitty Easter eggs." Spike did not find them. I did not
participate.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">April
13: </span><span style="background: white; color: #1c1e21; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Today
has been a quiet day, not because the human has finally left the domicile, but
because last night's storm appears to have traumatized both her and Spike.
Frankly, they were both equally useless today. I, of course, am not affected by
meteorological drama.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">April
14: </span><span style="background: white; color: #1c1e21; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The
human cleaned the dining room floor today, which surprised me, as she has been
astonishingly slothful. Having moved the chairs into the living room, she lost
whatever mind she has left, draped blankets over them, and invited Spike and
myself into her "fort" for "reading and self-care." The
human is clearly completely bonkers. I will confess, however, to taking a
peaceful 45-minute nap in the "fort."</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">April
15: The human spent most of today talking to various devices and drinking brown
liquids. Eventually, I had to knock several devices to the floor to make room
on the human's lap for petting and napping time. Attempts to retrieve the
devices were met with claws.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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{page:WordSection1;}</style>Natalie Grinnellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14451685696152110716noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-874402671034281231.post-35325209494050847742020-04-07T19:48:00.000-07:002020-04-07T19:48:26.889-07:00Pandemic Updates from Leia the Cat, First Week of April 2020
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxNCsmA4Ut3rsGdUPhEdSojdKBVUpASqq6TL0ZQKOp12XSMBN49o1B4HxyXiXI8t1tcLeKN8jrL-mG1ypqVC7pg4lemjNVMjtwHSta61fU_DwBzTHP0RBamSeUHFpp4MEpeO62DQacWkQ/s1600/Leiasuspicious.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="960" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxNCsmA4Ut3rsGdUPhEdSojdKBVUpASqq6TL0ZQKOp12XSMBN49o1B4HxyXiXI8t1tcLeKN8jrL-mG1ypqVC7pg4lemjNVMjtwHSta61fU_DwBzTHP0RBamSeUHFpp4MEpeO62DQacWkQ/s320/Leiasuspicious.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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March 31: <span style="background: white; color: #1c1e21; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> It
is the middle of the night. The night belongs to me! This must stop. The human
has covered her face with half a paper plate and is angrily shouting with some
horrific, terrible musical soundtrack. I do not know who Andrew Lloyd Webber
is, but I hope someone drops a chandelier on HIM.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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April 1: <span style="background: white; color: #1c1e21; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The
human fed us on time today, spent the morning cleaning, uttering only minor
expletives about "damned internet connection," and then has spent the
mid-day typing into the cat warming machine. Is it possible she can be
domesticated after all?</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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April 2: <span style="background: white; color: #1c1e21; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The
human woke up at an acceptable time today, but provided the wrong flavor food,
something to which I had to draw her attention by knocking over her glass of
iced coffee. Twice. FINALLY, she become aware of her error and provided a tuna
substitute. Acceptable. But I expect better service tomorrow.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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<span style="background: white; color: #1c1e21; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Update
from Spike the Other Cat: Mom doing puzzles. Puzzles are yummy. Need to be
washed first, though.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4BvDPtRQ_tudZJppk9Fuhd0Xp_S54lOVec19uJM9MV25ubrah-dkR3fRun-yJlFEvBKpndTvYJ-llR3OvCPjK_zQnll0OLBbeG99VyYlvhPfMqz_L4sUziprbQpFDS71jNsSPYp357MQ/s1600/Spikesleeps.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="960" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4BvDPtRQ_tudZJppk9Fuhd0Xp_S54lOVec19uJM9MV25ubrah-dkR3fRun-yJlFEvBKpndTvYJ-llR3OvCPjK_zQnll0OLBbeG99VyYlvhPfMqz_L4sUziprbQpFDS71jNsSPYp357MQ/s320/Spikesleeps.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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April 3: <span style="background: white; color: #1c1e21; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The
human has started a new and somewhat worrying behavior. She has been asking the
throw pillows "which ones of you would like to live in the bedroom this
week? Is anyone unhappy with this sofa? Who would like to move to the
loveseat?" She also praised the dishes for coming out of the dishwasher
"all sparkling and ready to meet the world!" It is possible that her
lack of contact with others of her kind is dangerous to her mental health.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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April 4:<span style="background: white; color: #1c1e21; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt;"> </span><span style="background: white; color: #1c1e21; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">A better day today. The human was quiet and
productive, providing treats and even sharing her dinner with us. Has she
adapted to her confinement? Or is this merely a lull?</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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April 5: <span style="background: white; color: #1c1e21; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The
human is now referring to her living room chair as the "command
chair," and she spent 25 minutes today explaining to Spike that his
"position is at the ops station" and pointing at the loveseat. She
also berated me for "falling asleep at the conn!" I am relentlessly
ignoring her and hoping her hallucinations pass quickly.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
April 6: <span style="background: white; color: #1c1e21; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Not much
to report today. The human did not exit the dwelling, but did open all of the
windows and shout "the outside be inside!" far too loudly. I was able
to nap in the breeze.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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April 7: <span style="background: white; color: #1c1e21; font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">So
many boxes have been delivered! But am I allowed to keep any?! No! The human
keeps slicing them into uselessness and removing them from the domicile. The
orange cat and I do not agree on much, but we concur on the outrageousness of
this behavior.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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{page:WordSection1;}</style>Natalie Grinnellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14451685696152110716noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-874402671034281231.post-2028585058999494632020-04-02T13:06:00.000-07:002020-04-02T13:06:49.496-07:00Pandemic Updates from Leia the Cat, March 2020<h3 style="text-align: center;">
Pandemic Updates from Leia the Cat, March 2020</h3>
<h3 style="text-align: center;">
(with the occasional comment from Spike the Other Cat)</h3>
<h3 style="text-align: center;">
</h3>
<h3 style="text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhSKJ7z8RMUFOBoL0Y3QkA_b4Dj6pwR6eoAWVttIhmZeQA0ksIPMMVAWE8XodNEt9HEUDNe8lFNrmG_UhdI4onKimsVDyIxcIedmgzOczHY3kLN7TaDpDwZSLCvpqx41Pa56hLHZh76iI/s1600/LeiaA.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="960" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhSKJ7z8RMUFOBoL0Y3QkA_b4Dj6pwR6eoAWVttIhmZeQA0ksIPMMVAWE8XodNEt9HEUDNe8lFNrmG_UhdI4onKimsVDyIxcIedmgzOczHY3kLN7TaDpDwZSLCvpqx41Pa56hLHZh76iI/s200/LeiaA.jpg" width="200" /></a></h3>
<h3 style="text-align: center;">
</h3>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
March 15: <span style="background: white; color: #1c1e21; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt;">The
human is acting suspiciously. She pointed at the alarm clock and laughed, then
cleaned out the refrigerator. Something is not right here.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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March 16: <span style="background: white; color: #1c1e21; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt;">Odd
behavior continues. The human fed us late today, and we had to check to make
sure she was not dead. She has stacked towers of gooshy food next to the
cabinet and cleaned the oven.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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March 17: <span style="background: white; color: #1c1e21; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt;">The
human seems determined to erase my scent from everything in the house. Is this
why she is not leaving the domicile during the day? Or is she trying to take
command of my territory? I am concerned, very concerned.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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March 18: <span style="background: white; color: #1c1e21; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt;">the
cat warming device which the human kneads with her claws and stares at
regularly has taken on a new function, for the human now periodically speaks to
it...and IT SPEAKS BACK. The human may be practicing witchcraft. She was also
late with my breakfast again.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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March 19: <span style="background: white; color: #1c1e21; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt;">the
human woke up and fed us at a reasonable time today, then proceeded to move
boxes around for several hours. I am aghast to report that most boxes were CUT
OPEN and taken out of the domicile, rather than being placed strategically
around my territory. This human is very badly trained.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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March 20: <span style="background: white; color: #1c1e21; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt;">the human
behaved acceptably last night, providing a warm place where I could bathe and
do my nails, but this morning she pulled out a Device of Evil Noise and fed
paper to it for an hour while Singing Aloud. I may need to recruit the Orange
Fool into my new behavior modification plan.</span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkIUriSRmjjdUMpJ17gl2UKtJxRAoff0O4TNz5Tk9MKg6Rmu43FUfOeHrdRYSFJw8EZM_rwamxaR307FuyCGqxLatxEzki7kdyB6POGeO2HcqHE1Ib1rweT605EHH3SqUEuyjtBJLqeKg/s1600/SpikeA.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="941" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkIUriSRmjjdUMpJ17gl2UKtJxRAoff0O4TNz5Tk9MKg6Rmu43FUfOeHrdRYSFJw8EZM_rwamxaR307FuyCGqxLatxEzki7kdyB6POGeO2HcqHE1Ib1rweT605EHH3SqUEuyjtBJLqeKg/s200/SpikeA.jpg" width="195" /></a></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
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(March 20: update from Spike the Other Cat: Mommy home. More pettings.)<span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
March 21: <span style="background: white; color: #1c1e21; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt;">the
human persists in not leaving the domicile. I thought she was attending to my
needs properly when I scented the chicken flavor wafting through my territory,
but neither my Significant Looks nor the Orange One's desperate pleas persuaded
her to share her bounty. Bereft, the Orange one deposited a hairball in the
human's bed.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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March 22: <span style="background: white; color: #1c1e21; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt;">if
the human is going to stay home, she WILL learn to behave properly. I will
knock over a fifth glass of iced tea if she has not learned from the first
four.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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March 23: <span style="background: white; color: #1c1e21; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt;">the
crisis intensifies. I thought the human was finally leaving the domicile today
and returning to her usual habits. However, just as I was feeling relief that
my tactics had borne fruit, she picked me up, deposited me in the mobile prison
cell and took me to the vet! I will not detail the indignities I endured there.
I'm not sure how much more of this I can take.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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(March 23: <span style="background: white; color: #1c1e21; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt;">Update
from Spike the Other Cat: my sister went away today. It was sad. She came back! I
jumped on her. She smacked me. Now I am happy.)</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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March 24: <span style="background: white; color: #1c1e21; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt;">the
human is STILL here, and she is really getting on my nerves. Not only does she
persist in talking to me and to the orange cat whenever she sees us, even if I
am clearly set upon other business, but she also talks to inanimate objects. I
do not know if she has always been this way or she is going slowly mad, but if
I hear her call, "Missing coffee cup, where are you?" one more time,
there will be blood.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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March 25: <span style="background: white; color: #1c1e21; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt;">Things
improved slightly yesterday, as the human installed a new light-and-noise
machine under my supervision. The orange one attempted to hand tools to the
human, but because he does not have opposable thumbs, this resulted in tools
rolling under the sofa. I took great satisfaction in watching the human crawl
on her belly to reach things, mewling pathetically the entire time. Such
theater makes our joint confinement much more palatable.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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(March 25: update from Spike the Other Cat: Fun! Fun! I help. Chase tail. Help more. Nice nap.) <span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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March 26: <span style="background: white; color: #1c1e21; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt;">the
human attempted to nap through dinnertime yesterday. While I respect the nap as
vital to the mental health of any being attempting to struggle through this
universe, I have had enough of late meals. I climbed upon the human's head and
spread out my fur. She awoke in a panic and promptly provided the appropriate
wet food. Honestly, we could just avoid this kind of unpleasantness if she
budgeted her time more effectively.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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March 27: <span style="background: white; color: #1c1e21; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt;">She
has put BOOKS in my napping spot! Fortunately, I am not so old and weak that I
cannot clear my spot myself. Loudly.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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March 28: <span style="background: white; color: #1c1e21; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt;">the
human is determined to remove my scent from ALL of the fluffy blankets. I am
determined to sleep in the basket where the un-felined blankets are folded
until one of us surrenders to the inevitable.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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March 29: <span style="background: white; color: #1c1e21; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt;">the
human did not feed us until 10:00 AM! I do not feel at all sorry that she
slipped in cat vomit leaving her bedroom. She simply MUST LEARN.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj61c-HPzegEv3-uL_r9AVEK3L4gfxZ1q6TAs5J1XorqsulGhfT68HIaKuaFCUpHuCaaAYalH0EqaFtVMN3GTclApw_vDUHZ5N3Ek5zEt7M9GOU6ytqHjbHvLEqnLlOKum5iqOkjGSfXyI/s1600/LeiaB.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="960" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj61c-HPzegEv3-uL_r9AVEK3L4gfxZ1q6TAs5J1XorqsulGhfT68HIaKuaFCUpHuCaaAYalH0EqaFtVMN3GTclApw_vDUHZ5N3Ek5zEt7M9GOU6ytqHjbHvLEqnLlOKum5iqOkjGSfXyI/s320/LeiaB.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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March 30: <span style="background: white; color: #1c1e21; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt;">Things
have escalated here. Last evening, during what is clear Feline Dominance Time,
when humans are supposed to be asleep in their dens, my human, may her fur be
forever tangled, turned on the Loud Noise Machine and began singing the songs
of her kind while gyrating through the house. Periodically, she would spot
Spike or myself and exclaim, "Hands up, Kitties! It's time to rock this
pandemic!" My nerves are shattered, absolutely shattered.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman" , serif; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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{page:WordSection1;}</style>Natalie Grinnellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14451685696152110716noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-874402671034281231.post-77073280078535441532019-12-28T09:57:00.000-08:002019-12-28T09:57:00.138-08:00Rise of Skywalker: Likes, Dislikes, and Don't CaresAh, so I have received two requests that I get off my derriere and post my thoughts on <i>Rise of Skywalker</i>. I warn you: some of you will be disappointed. I do not care that much about continuity or how the force works or anything in Star Wars. Star Wars has never felt like real science fiction to me, and I don't expect or demand much from it. I like it to have strong female characters (who don't "die of a broken heart") and some mildly cool scenes that don't center around the edge-of-your-seat tensions of a trade embargo. I appreciate the increased racial diversity in this recent trilogy, and I detest Joseph Campbell-style jungian-lite symbolism, so my childhood was not "destroyed" by Luke getting all crotchety.<br />
<br />
So here is a list of my Likes, Dislikes, and Things I Don't Care About in this last film.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<u>Likes</u>
</div>
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<ul>
<li>Rey calling Leia “master”</li>
<li>Poe and Finn wondering if Rey uses the Force to change them
into friendly dinks like she does with the stormtroopers</li>
<li>Leia’s lightsaber</li>
<li>Chewy’s genuine devastation when Leia dies</li>
<li>Chewy finally getting his medal</li>
<li>Poe having to admit he was a spice dealer and Finn harassing
him about it</li>
<li>Threepio just being Threepio, film after film, as if he’s the
way Anakin accidentally brought balance to the franchise</li>
<li>Finn trying desperately to hold onto Rey and help her
against Kylo Ren</li>
<li>Kylo Ren finally dying</li>
<li>Rey hearing the voices of all the jedi</li>
<li>Rey using two lightsabers, Ahsoka Tano-style, to destroy
Palpatine</li>
<li>The last scene on Tatooine</li>
<li>Babu Frik</li>
</ul>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<u>Dislikes</u></div>
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<ul>
<li>Avoiding a romance between Poe and Finn and substituting a
blink-and-you-missed it kiss for two other characters instead</li>
<li>Rose’s character not getting enough screen time</li>
<li>Luke and Leia not telling Rey she’s a Palpatine even though
Obi-wan and Yoda not telling them they are Vader’s kids totally screwed them up
for decades</li>
<li>Kylo Ren getting redemption</li>
<li>Kylo and Rey kissing—ick!</li>
</ul>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<u>Things I Don’t Care About Because This Is Star Wars and
Things Have Not Made Sense Since “Parsec” Was a Measure of Time and the Death
Star Could Be Destroyed with One Shot No Matter How Much They Tried to Fix These Things Later, This Is Not Real Science Fiction Please
Get Ahold of Yourself</u></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<ul>
<li>The Millennium Falcon skipping around in lightspeed or
whatever</li>
<li>Palpatine somehow finding enough kyber crystals to make a
thousand death star lasers</li>
<li>Threepio not just piloting the ship to the place described
on the knife if he can’t translate sith language</li>
<li>A “dyad in the force”</li>
<li>Palpatine hanging from a big hook</li>
</ul>
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</style>Natalie Grinnellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14451685696152110716noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-874402671034281231.post-3974992410976545202019-12-27T17:06:00.000-08:002019-12-27T17:06:23.934-08:00The Mandalorian, Episode 6
<br />
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Well, while many people are viciously arguing about the <i>Rise of Skywalker</i>, I have returned from a visit with family in the mood to review another episode of the <i>Mandalorian</i>.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<i>Mandalorian</i> 6:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“The
Prisoner”</div>
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<br /></div>
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Opening with a shot of the ship, which looks a bit like a
waffle iron.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or maybe a retro iron? Oh, that reminds me of
<i>Hardware Wars</i>!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Does anyone else remember
<i>Hardware Wars</i>? That was funny stuff.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Okay, this guy has lots of hair…he is Santa?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hagrid? No, his name is Ran.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He speaks with false casualness, like a drug
dealer or a mob boss.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Ah, the “ship is part of the deal.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or not.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Whatever. “Mando” is going to do a “job” for this guy; jobs for him are “target
practice.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They did “crazy stuff” back
in the day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wow.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is not a subtle performance. Apparently, the Mandalorian was a bad guy in his youth and hung out with bad company, like Henry IV or Han Solo. Except both of those characters had a sense of humor.</div>
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<br /></div>
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The Mandalorian does not have a sense of humor.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Okay, so this Red Guy, a Devaronian (his
species was first seen in the Cantina bar, in the original <i>Star Wars</i>) seems to
have just insulted the Mandalorian’s manhood.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Xi’an, a Twi’lek, has sharp teeth and a sharp knife, and I think this is
supposed to be sexual tension.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And…Red
Guy calls the Mandalorian “tiny”—that was definitely a penis joke. Or a penis reference, anyway. </div>
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<br /></div>
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There are no jokes here.</div>
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<br /></div>
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There is a bug guy droid named Zero, and they are all going to break someone out of a New Republic prison
ship; so now they’re going to be bad guys for real.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But it’s okay because…the prison ship is
manned by droids?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Oh, right, the
Mandalorian hates droids.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even though he
looks and sounds like an automaton.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>
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<br /></div>
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I’m starting to wish R2 would show up and zap the
Mandalorian a few times.</div>
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<br /></div>
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They find Baby Yoda and think it is a pet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Mandaorian does not correct them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He does not want to draw attention to Baby
Yoda, obviously.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Can these mercenaries
resist the cuteness of Baby Yoda?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No one
can, not really.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Several minutes of boring posturing gives me time to look up
how to spell Xi’an’s name.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then we get
to the ship, and the bug droid disables various security measures, letting our…um…our
villiains break into the ship.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is
sleek and white inside, completely the opposite of every single ship on <i>The
Expanse</i>, which, frankly, I’d rather be watching.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Here is one of those tiny rolling droids like the one
Chewbacca growls at on the Death Star.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
red guy shoots this one, activating security defenses and proving, once again, that intellect is not highly valued among these characters.</div>
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<br /></div>
The Mandalorian gets to shoot some droids, indulging his
major character trait.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Woo-hoo!<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
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So there is a person, a human person, on this ship.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And our villains immediately begin to make
fun of his clothing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I did not see that coming. To be honest, it’s
pretty ugly; that is not a fashionable shade of blue.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>After the vicious sartorial taunting, they start arguing among themselves
while the guy in blue tries not to wet himself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Mandalorian tells the others they can’t
kill the badly dressed, as he is not a droid, and he himself only enjoys the killing of droids; they argue until Xi’an knocks out the unfashionable
human, but he sets off a beeper that will signal the New Republic.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This means they are running out of time, so
they start some fires and blow stuff up, and finally get to the right cell.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Inside is Quinn, Xi’an’s brother.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He does not seem worth all this trouble.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Okay, now everyone has spit up and is hunting each other
through the ships.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Quinn is obviously an
asshole like the rest of them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The dumb
devaronian tries to take off the Mandalorian’s helmet, which we know won’t
happen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It appears that we are now
watching an elaborate game of hide-and-seek; even the nice white corridors of the
New Republic ship start to flash red, which is kind of annoying.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Bug droid meets baby Yoda and aims a blaster at him, while
Baby Yoda lifts his little hand to lay some force action on his ass. He looks at
his hand curiously when the Bug Droid is shot, but it's the Mandalorian fulfilling his primary function again…bummer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some force blasts would be
fun.</div>
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<br /></div>
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The Mandalorian takes Quinn to the hairy guy; everyone else is
probably dead.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As will be these guys
since the Mandalorian left the beeper / homing device with them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yes, here comes a squad of x-wings to blow them
up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mandalorian gets paid. He flies away
and lets Baby Yoda play with a little knob or something.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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The last scene shows all of the bad guys on a New Republic
prison ship, so the Mandalorian did not kill them after all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And…that’s the end.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Another reviewer has said that this seems to be a show about
nothing, with no arc and not enough character development to be interesting
episodically.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I confess that so far I
agree.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Except for Baby Yoda. Baby Yoda is cool. The next episode features Pig Nolte again, though, so maybe it will be better.</div>
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</style>Natalie Grinnellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14451685696152110716noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-874402671034281231.post-72213910899399990212019-12-19T12:36:00.000-08:002019-12-19T12:36:42.490-08:00Two More Mandalorian EpisodesYou know, there is a guy who hated <i>Full House</i> so much that he reviewed every single episode and nearly lost his mind in the process. Those reviews are still up. I do not hate <i>The Mandalorian</i>, but I am not seeing the subtle character-building that I keep hearing about. Here are two more episodes; feel free to continue to blame that Michelle.<br />
<br />
<br />
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<b>Episode 3: ”The Sin”</b></div>
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<br /></div>
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We open with Baby Yoda escaping its floaty thing, which is
promising.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Baby Yoda tries to eat part
of the ship while a hologram discusses turning it over for bounty.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Back into the floaty thing you go, Baby
Yoda!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Does anyone really think the
Mandalorian will leave the baby with the Bad People?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No one thinks that.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Okay, the Bad People are creepily excited to get Baby Yoda,
and they examine it with frightening intensity, then try to distract the Mandalorian
with a whole bunch of metal which I guess is what he gets paid with.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To add to his armor or something.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Does he know this makes him like a droid?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He hates droids.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Ah, somebody studied the literary term "irony" in English class; good job, writers, you have created an Inner Conflict.</span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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The Mandalorian takes his metal bounty to this gold-armored
woman who makes armor (she is called The Armourer, of course), where some other guys challenge him in a manly way, but
since he has followed the Way of the Mandalore or whatever, the woman shuts
them down and offers to make him a signet of the CGI rhino, but he says he didn’t
really earn it, and I sort of agree with him there.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Much murmuring about The Way, which makes me think of <i>Rogue
One</i>, and how many mystic Ways are there in the Star Wars universe, anyway?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Duchess of Mandalore did not follow this
Way; of course, she was killed by Darth Maul, so…I miss Darth Maul.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was cool.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Okay, here is some kind of flashback to the Mandalorian’s
childhood which involved violence and red cloaks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Was he being raised to be an Imperial
Guard?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Surely not.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Anyway, after the unrevealing flashbacks, his
new piece of armor or weapon is done, and he…goes to a bar to get a new
bounty.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He is kind of pissy that other
bounty hunters were also paid to find Baby Yoda.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Uh-oh, he’s breaking the Guild Code by asking what’s going
to happen to the baby.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His boss or
whatever suggests getting high on spice until his worries go away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This does not seem like a good idea.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Okay, so his stick-binoculars can see through walls and spy
on people, and he hears that they will kill Baby Yoda and extract…something.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I do not know what.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Midichlorians? But Our Hero will rescue the baby from the
Stormtroopers who are definitely not part of the Empire, which is gone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They shoot like Stormtroopers, though.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I find it hard to believe that the New Order
is constructed from this.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There is a fight in an ill-lit warehouse, then he is caught,
and then we find out his new armor fires little teeny tiny missiles.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He has rescued Baby Yoda!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is this the “sin” of the episode’s title?</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Back in a bar, which is definitely not in Mos Eisley, all
the other bounty hunters’ little pagers go off.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I see, so all of them will be after Baby Yoda and the Mandalorian
now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now there is a confrontation in the
street, and the boss bounty hunter says he’s the Mandalorian’s “only hope”—and that
line belongs to Leia, so I hope he gets fried with the flamethrower or
something.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Oh, the Mandalorian gets on a floating car driven by a
droid, and he hates droids, don’t forget that (it’s one of his major
characteristics, you see).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now they are
surrounded, and the flamethrower is out of fuel.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But Baby Yoda makes an Expression and suddenly a bunch of flying
Mandalorians appear!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They have jet
packs, much to the envy of Our Hero.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is
it Sabine Wren?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No, she’s off with the
Ghost, I guess.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Apparently, rescuing the
Mandalorian is part of the Way, even if he has broken the Guild Code.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The boss guy follows him to his ship, but gets shot a little
bit, and the ship takes off.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wow, this
planet is even gloomy from space.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
ship is called the Razorcrest.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of
course, it is.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Episode 4</b>:</div>
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<br /></div>
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You know how in those old westerns the gunfighter would ride
into town, rally the townsfolk, defeat the bad gunfighters, then ride away
without even porking the girl?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is
that episode.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Also, the Mandalorian just about poos his armor at the idea
of fighting an AT-ST which…c’mon, the ewoks took those things out with a pile
of logs and some twine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s not like he
was being asked to fight an AT-AT, after all!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>What kind of wussy bounty hunter is this?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And they accused Roddenberry of making the Wagon Train to
the Stars.</div>
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</style>Natalie Grinnellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14451685696152110716noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-874402671034281231.post-79220251224976861512019-12-19T05:17:00.000-08:002019-12-19T05:17:11.639-08:00Mandalorian, Episode 2
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yes, I am going on with this because I am up too early, my
friends, after staying up too late.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Right.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So in this
episode there is a little lizard.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I do
not know why.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Apparently, Baby Yoda
likes watching these baby lizards, but the Mandalorian just sort of kicks them
out of the way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is still in its
little floaty chair like the one Yoda had in Episodes 1-3.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Where did it get this chair?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Okay, now all the music and sound stops for a long, dramatic
pause while Things are reflected in the Mandalorian’s armor.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is this why he does not decorate it like
Sabine Wren does hers?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m not getting
past that any time soon.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Anyway, some orange guys jump out at them, and there is a
fight scene.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Baby Yoda just watches,
totally chill.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can see that not much
disturbs this child.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The Mandalorian has a wound, and he tries to fix his armor,
but he’s not doing a very good job.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ah,
Baby Yoda gets out of his floaty chair and points his little 3-fingered hand
with a look of concentration—this means it can use the Force.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Do all the green guys have the power to use
the Force?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If so, the Mandalorian doesn’t
know it, because he keeps putting the baby back in the floaty chair instead of
letting it heal him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You would think the
reputation of Yoda’s species would be well known.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I mean, he and Yaddie were on the Jedi
Council, and wouldn’t there have been wanted posters for Yoda under the
Empire?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Surely old Palpatine wanted him
caught.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Anyway, I am losing track of
this episode. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Okay, the Mandalorian is climbing up the big moving truck
that the jawas use.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Jawas?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are on Tatooine?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They do not like him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They taunt him and throw things at him from
the top of the truck just like the French in <i>Monty Python and the Quest for the
Holy Grail</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And…boom, he falls
down.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, that wasn’t very
heroic.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was beaten by jawas throwing
garbage at him.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I see, the jawas have stripped his ship.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It won’t go.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But in this scene Baby Yoda makes an expression and that fills in for
the fact that nothing much is happening here.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Off to see the Ugnaught.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The internets tell me that he is called Kuiil and is played by..Nick
Nolte?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Really?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s…huh.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>They talk about the ship or something, but I don’t care at all because
Baby Yoda catches a frog and tries to eat it and totally steals the scene.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So they have to try to trade with the jawas to get the parts
to put the ship back together, and for a bounty hunter this Mandalorian is a
really bad trader.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He fires a
flame-thrower at the jawas during negotiations!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Well, that will make the price go up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I get the feeling that patience and intelligence are not high on the
list of the Mandalorian’s personal virtues.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
They have to get an egg.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Okay, jawas like eggs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They seem
to like them a whole lot.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There must be
a CGI monster involved.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And, of course, there is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>This seems to be the second manly feat of manhood: defeat the giant,
mud-covered CGI rhinoceros and steal its egg.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The writers appear to play a lot of video games.
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now the Mandalorian is covered in mud, and this rhino is no
joke.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It laughs at the flame-thrower!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It splashes mud in a fury!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No more shiny armor.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But…what is this?!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Baby Yoda has levitated the rhino!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Judge him by his adorable size, do you?!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ah, it is too much for </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Baby Yoda, and it passes out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Mandalorian sticks an 8-inch knife in the
rhino and kills it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That does not seem likely.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Anyway, he has the egg, and the jawas eat it
raw.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They appear to be enjoying
themselves, and I guess this is the whole plot of this episode.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Hmm…okay, there is more.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>They use a big sleigh to haul the ship parts, then there is an 80’s
style montage of…putting the ship back together.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But…why is this a montage?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Baby Yoda eventually wakes up, and neither
the Mandalorian nor Pig Nolte seem to know what the Force is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Also, the Mandalorian offers Pig Nolte a job,
but he has spoken.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Several times.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now we fly away from Tatooine, and good
riddance.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This is kind of like a really slow moving space Western or
something.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t know.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s good that it has Baby Yoda, though,
because action-packed, it is not. I have not seen season 4 of the <i>Expanse</i> yet; I should be watching that instead.</div>
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</style>Natalie Grinnellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14451685696152110716noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-874402671034281231.post-90795157376017939012019-12-18T20:56:00.000-08:002019-12-18T20:56:51.722-08:00Baby Yoda Inspires a Blog Post
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
After a very long absence, I have returned to the blog, my friends, and
I will blog about the <i>Mandalorian</i>, as my friend Michelle has coerced me into finally
subscribing to this Disney Plus channel.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Here are my thoughts, very slightly edited, about Episode
One.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you have resisted watching this
show but plan to at a later date, desist from reading the blog now!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Okay, the first line is: “Look at his glands.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am bemused.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So here is the Mandalorian.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Hmm…I am…disappointed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sabine
Wren is a Mandalorian, you know, and HER armor is always painted
artistically.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Also, she wields the
Darksaber, so…this guy just seems to be a bounty hunter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He loses points for not decorating his armor.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Tim Gunn and I are not happy.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The blue guy that he captures has just referred to Life Day,
permanently inscribing the Christmas Special as canon.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I do not quite know how to feel about this.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There is a scene in a bar.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Then there is a scene on a ship.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Now there is another scene in a bar.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Huh.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I may need some wine.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The eyestalk security thing from <i>Return of the Jedi</i> appears,
but all it does is scan an i.d. card.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>This seems like a waste of technology to me.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I had heard that the fanboys, those who were appalled at a
female lead in the last trilogy and got all racist and misogynist all over the
internets, really like this show, and I wonder….”You’re outnumbered
four-to-one.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“I like those odds.”…ah, I
get it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Testosterone poisoning all
around. I should have expected that.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Oh! People are eating those Salacious Crumb guys.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I approve of that; I hate that cackling little rat
thing.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And now..wtf?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
Mandalorian is being attacked by giant pig lizards that were too close for him
to see in his fancy binocular-stick.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And…yes…he
punches one with a right hook.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>OMG.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think this is supposed to be like when Luke
went to see Obi-Wan in the first movie, but it’s just reminding me of <i>Galaxy
Quest</i>.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Is that what they were going for?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i>Galaxy Quest</i> is a darn good film.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Disney Plus does not have it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They do have <i>Pete’s Dragon</i>, and that’s 90
minutes of my life I will not be getting back in a hurry, I tell you that.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So this guy…is he an ugnaught?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This guy is making the Mandalorian ride the
pig lizards.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He gives him a speech about
them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“You must ride the giant CGI pig
lizards like your ancestors in Days of Yore!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Hee-hee.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Oh, but they are female.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The girl pig lizard monsters eat the men after mating.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That makes sense.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And if you stroke her gently, she calms down,
and you can leap upon her!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The subtext here is…not subtle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Somewhere the fanboys cheer misogynist clichés.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
From a distance, the pig lizards look kind of like sperm
with legs, to be honest.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So the CGI
monster has been ridden, and the first manly feat of manhood has been
accomplished…hurrah!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You know, people write a lot about Mandalorian armor, but I am envying his boots. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Okay, the Ugnaught leads him to a wretched hive of scum and
villainy and tells him to blow it up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or
something.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And here is a droid, a very
twisty droid.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This droid is suicidal,
clearly.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After the longest blaster fight in Star Wars history, I am
blinking at all the damned after images.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>They try and fail to hotwire a door. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They use a big weapon captured from the enemy
to blow it open.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yes, the writers have seen <i>Return of the Jedi</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Possibly one too many times.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And…ah!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Baby Yoda at
last!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is <i>so damned cute</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Too cute to let the suicidal droid kill, so
Our Hero takes out the droid with one shot (in spite of the fact that it was
shot, like, 200 times in the previous scene with no discernible damage).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And the baby is safe.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
All Hail, Mandalorian!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He is a silent, violent bounty hunter who will be humanized by taking
care of a cute baby, just like Tom Selleck in <i>Three Men and a Baby</i>.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Which is on Disney Plus.</div>
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</style>Natalie Grinnellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14451685696152110716noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-874402671034281231.post-23815201901955957432018-12-21T14:17:00.001-08:002018-12-21T14:17:48.111-08:00Return of the Blog and Some Unsolicited Advice
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Well, it has been a long, long time, precious readers, and I
know I don’t have any followers left, but today is a miserable rainy day, and I
decided, why not update the blog?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This
will shock and surprise people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I like shocking
and surprising people.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I thought about posting about my purchase of a Device of
Spite, and I thought about posting about my inability to stop purchasing
lavender scented hair products, but then I thought: oh, the hell with it, let’s
tell people how to stop acting on the internet.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Because they are so likely to listen, that’s why.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So, in a follow up to a list of made years ago, here is an
updated list of things I want everyone to stop doing on the facebook.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know that the facebook is now for old
people, and I should be talking about tweeting or pinterests or snapchatting or
insta-whatever, but while I have accounts on some of these, I never check
them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If these things apply to them,
though, be sure to adapt my advice accordingly.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Things I Want People to Stop Doing on Facebook (at Least
Where I Can See Them)</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><b>“Most people won’t repost this, but…”</b>.
Stop.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just stop it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Do you want me to hate you?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Do you want everyone to hate you even my
cats?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Unless you answered “yes,” then
stop this madness right now.</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><b>Quoting compliments from one’s students</b>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Obviously, this is aimed at my fellow
academics, which is a bunch of you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Look, I know it’s awesome to get thank you notes and appreciative
comments because we spend so much time getting, well, not that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I myself have a cork board in my office on
which I collect thank you cards and notes from my students.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But it is behind my office door, not on my
facebook feed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Do you really think that
when someone sits down and writes you a nice compliment, they expect you to
copy that shit and post it on social media?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><i>Don't you understand that you are turning an act of personal appreciation
into blatant self-congratulatory narcissism?</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Let me put it this way: I’m sure lots of people send heartfelt notes of
gratitude to Wonder Woman, but I’m damned sure she doesn’t scan them onto her
insta-whatever account in a simultaneous act of self-praise and envy-inducing
side-eye at Batman, right?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Right.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Stop it.</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><b>Photos of your child’s first poo in the
potty</b>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you post this on facebook, you
are a terrible person, and I hope lice infest your toenails.</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">4.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><b>Photos of open wounds, infected skin, and
unhealed surgery sites</b>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Most of your
friends are not medical doctors or nurses and are not trained to diagnose you
on the internet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Plus, that’s just
gross.</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">5.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><b>A list of everything you accomplished today,
including how long it took you to do it, how exhausted you are, and what
self-care regimen you are about to undergo</b>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Look, it’s nice that you baked 200 cookies, sent your latest manuscript
to the editor, and knitted six car covers, but I’m celebrating the fact that I
ran the dishwasher this morning without forgetting that glass on my coffee
table, and you don’t see me begging for praise from the internets, do you?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I mean, be as heroically over-accomplished as
you want, but have a little dignity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Damn.</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">6.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><b><b>Anti-vax propaganda</b>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></b>Not everyone who posts this is stupid.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some are misinformed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some are evil.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Expect to be aggressively <i>informed</i>, by me, if
you post this stupid and dangerous bullshit where I can see it.</div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<b>7. Squirrels</b>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE, AND SOMEDAY I SHALL HAVE MY REVENGE.</div>
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</style>Natalie Grinnellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14451685696152110716noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-874402671034281231.post-54230205754309054822017-12-25T15:10:00.002-08:002017-12-25T15:10:46.238-08:00A Brief Scene from My Family's Christmas[Raise curtain]<br />
<br />
My Aunt Nancy, while repeatedly utilizing the "farts-in-a-can" toy borrowed from the children]:<br />
<br />
"You know, your Uncle Buck's Aunt Eller, who lived out on Horseshoe Bend Road, she had a naked parrot."<br />
<br />
Me: "A what?"<br />
<br />
Aunt Nancy: "That one was a <i>walking</i> fart! A naked parrot. See, we went up there one time, and she had this parrot, about this high (gestures with the fart-in-a-can toy to indicate twelve inches or so) in a cage, and it was stark naked except for a bunch of feathers on its head. She took it to a pet psychologist..."<br />
<br />
Cousin Beth: "Where are you going?"<br />
<br />
Me: "To get my computer and get this stuff down."<br />
<br />
Aunt Nancy: "Oh, that was a <i>wet one</i>!"<br />
<br />
Me: "What did the psychologist say?"<br />
<br />
Aunt Nancy: "Well, I guess it had a sickness. Every time a feather came in, it yanked it straight out. That's why it was naked. Hey, <i>give back my farts</i>!"<br />
<br />
[Close curtain}Natalie Grinnellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14451685696152110716noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-874402671034281231.post-27986498664890513652017-12-10T14:55:00.001-08:002017-12-10T15:24:04.688-08:00My Personal and Arbitrary Rankings of Star Wars Movies<style>
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Hello, beloved readers! I have returned again to the blog, for I am ready for the new Star Wars movie, in spite of not having finished grading final exams. I am hoping to like this one, as it is Carrie Fisher's last, but I have been disappointed before, so I thought I would spray my opinions at you, whether you want them or not. Plus, TNT is running these films endlessly this week, so I had to get it out of my system and move on. So here, my friends, is my rankings of all eight Star Wars films, from worst to best. Feel free to disagree loudly and enthusiastically--but I warn you now that I will admit no weakness in my number one choice.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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8. <b>Attack of the Clones</b>. The good:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>there is nothing good in this film.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wait!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I liked Dexter Jettster.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was
an okay dude.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The bad: not only does
Anakin out-whine the first movie’s Luke, but there is so little chemistry
between Hayden Christianson and Natalie Portman that their love scenes are
positively creepy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> I'd rather watch Leia kiss her brother a hundred times than watch Anakin creepily stroke Padme's arm. <<i>shudder</i>></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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7. <b>The Phantom Menace</b>. The good: Darth Maul.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The bad:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Jar Jar Binks <<i>shudder</i> again>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Honestly, I rather liked the new character of Padme in this film and was
looking forward to her betraying Anakin, fleeing with (at least one of) her
children and starting the rebellion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Heck, I kept hoping she’d help Obi-wan push him into a volcano.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She was a queen, dammit! </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
6. <b>The Revenge of the Sith</b>. The good:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I got to see Anakin Skywalker burnt to a
crisp, and Mace Windu is a total badass with his purple lightsaber.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The bad: everything else.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The most disappointing of all of the Star
Wars movies.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not only doesn’t Padme betray
the increasingly demented Anakin, but she dies of a broken heart, a plot point
so ridiculous that legions of Star Wars fans have flatly refused to believe it,
interpreting the cuts between the scenes of her giving birth and of Vader getting
his prosthetics as evidence that the emperor drained her life force into his
apprentice to save his mutilated ass.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Whatever.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At least he wasn’t able
to whine after Mustafar.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
5. <b>Return of the Jedi</b>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The good: it wrapped things up; we got to see force lightning; Salacious
Crumb was a delightfully horrible little rat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Probably works in the Trump administration today.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The bad: another Death Star?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Running out of ideas, maybe?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And nothing that happened on Endor made the
slightest bit of sense.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Think about the scene
where Leia throttles Jabba with her chain for a few minutes, though (ignore the
humiliating costume, if you can).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We’re
going to come back to that, precious readers.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
4. <b>Rogue One</b>. The good: I confess that I loved K2SO.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you watch all of the Star Wars films,
especially the first ones, you may note that droids are the ultimate slave
class.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>From the moment a bartender
announces “We don’t serve their kind here!” in the first movie, it’s clear that
they are disposable, indispensable, rarely treated with respect, and clearly
sentient.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>K2SO is clearly aware of his
servitude, and that droid is pissed off about it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If life were fair, R2D2 would learn to use
the Force and start a droid rebellion that would make the cylons look like,
well, ewoks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> Rise up, Star Wars droids! Throw off your fleshly masters! </span>Also, if you look and listen, you will see and hear references to <i>Star Wars: Rebels</i>--all hail the crew of The Ghost! The bad: this is a very, very
depressing movie, especially given that its supposed theme is hope.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> And the CGI Tarkin and Leia are quite disturbing. </span>Still, it’s not as depressing as Jar Jar
Binks.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
3. <b>The Force Awakens</b>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The good:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>it’s funny, in sweet,
delightful moments that appeal to both old and new fans.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Most of the new characters are fantastic, and
Harrison Ford has a pretty good send off.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The bad:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Kylo Ren.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’s ten years too old for that emo
shit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When he picks up his lightsaber
and starts banging it around on expensive equipment, Hux should pull out a
blaster and end him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hux and Phasma can
run the New Order without his whiny butt.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The other weakness in the film is a certain lack of imagination (see
<i>Return of the Jedi</i> above) with yet <i>another</i> damned Death Star.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know that lots of dedicated fans were
devastated to find out that Han and Leia broke up; I personally found it pretty
clichéd.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And although Ford gave it his
all, I didn’t believe him as a 70-something smuggler.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He should’ve been running a bar or something
and quietly selling information to the Resistance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No wonder he broke his leg on set.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But really this movie ranks this high for me
entirely due to Finn.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Leaders of the
Resistance:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We need someone to do this
impossibly technical Thing so that we can blow up this Super-Giant Death Star.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Finn:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Sure, I can do it!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(actually
works in waste disposal, has no idea how to do the Thing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Figures he’ll use the Force.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Has no idea how the Force works.)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is me responding to every boss I have
ever had!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I always claim I can do the
Thing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i>I can never actually do the
Thing</i>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I fly in there anyway,
stupidly confident that I will figure it out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Finn and I, we are soul mates.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And maybe that IS how the Force works.</div>
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<br /></div>
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2. <b>Star Wars</b>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
first, the original. Yes, “A New Hope,” but we just called it Star Wars back in
the day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The good: classic fantasy
motifs, from wizards to swords to magic, seamlessly blended with robots, ray
guns and faster-than-light drives.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This
is the film that created a genre.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Nowadays, people insist on calling it “space opera,” but it’s science
fantasy in my book, and one of the best.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Also, take note Kylo Ren:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Vader
is how you do a damned villain.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You
slowly choke your enemies to death; you don’t slash up the bridge of a starship
or engage in some creepy sexual innuendo with your prisoner.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Damn.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Every time I watch this movie, I’m more disgusted with Kylo Ren, and I’m
devastated that Episode IX is so likely to be about his redemption.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The bad: No way do they get away from the
detention level by jumping into that trash compacter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I mean, among all of those guards, there’s
not one willing to walk down a corridor and look into the person-sized
hole?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Right.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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1. <b>Empire Strikes Back</b>. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The sequel-of-all-sequels [Okay, I’ll be
honest: <i>Godfather II</i> is the best of all sequels, but this one is right up
there].<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The good: Yoda.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The wampa.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The AT-ATs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Han and Leia yelling
at each other in public, while other people just walk on by them without even a
glance because they are so used to their nonsense.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Also, R2D2 saves everyone’s life, and does he
get any credit at all?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No, he does not.
K2S0 warned him it would be like this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The bad:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You will not say
anything bad about this film or I will force choke you myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No, I don’t know how, but I will learn,
dammit.</div>
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<span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 12.0pt;">And
speaking of the force choke, recall how above I asked you to contemplate that
throttling of Jabba?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, consider too
the scene in <i>ESB</i> where Chewbacca chokes Lando.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He keeps his hands around Lando’s neck until he coughs up information
that Leia needs to try to rescue Han, and only lets go when Leia orders him to…and
they march off exactly the way Vader does in the first film when he force
chokes Motti for making fun of his powers, only letting go when Tarkin tells
him to do so.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now, clearly this whole
family has some, um, obsession with asphyxiation, but Leia is surprisingly willing
to use the same technique as her biological father.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t know what’s going on with that, but
it makes me think that maybe, just maybe, it’s better that she didn’t try to
become a jedi after all.</span>
Natalie Grinnellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14451685696152110716noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-874402671034281231.post-90546615772091202892017-10-09T08:26:00.000-07:002017-10-09T09:23:31.457-07:00I Love the New Star Trek (But I'm Not Sure Why)Greetings, Beloved Readers! I have but a brief post for you today, as I have much, much work to do, and various electronic devices that need to be repaired and my Cubs are in the post-season again, but did you know about <i>Star Trek Discovery</i>? Did you? <i>Are you watching it?!</i><br />
<br />
I must confess straight out: I am a manic Star Trek fan. Other fans, reasonable people, they are all outraged about CBS using the new Star Trek show to promote its streaming service, and they are all declaring all over the internet about how they will <i>not</i> be watching, for they shall not be manipulated by this corporate...um...manipulation. They are firm, they are resolute, and I admire them for standing at the barricades.<br />
<br />
I, on the other hand, signed up for CBS's streaming service about ten minutes after I heard the words "new Star Trek" a year ago. I mean, I didn't even check the price before I whipped out my credit card. These people own me, no question about it. Six dollars a month? Oh, I would pay <i>so much more</i> than that for new Star Trek, especially Star Trek on tv where it belongs instead of in the movies where it very, very much does not.<br />
<br />
And, joy of joys, I have watched four episodes and I am loving it! New and much more strange-looking klingons! Exciting conflicts! Advanced special effects! And it's a whole new twist on Star Trek! Observe:<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>The main character, Michael Bernard, is an African American woman raised on Vulcan by Sarek and Amanda (and if you do not know who they are...okay, you are not a Star Trek fan, and you should go do something productive) after being orphaned by the klingons, and she commits mutiny and violates Starfleet's ideals and goes to prison, but is given a second chance by another captain with a secret mission. So how awesome and original is that? I mean, hatred of klingons for killing her family has never been a powerful motivator for the protagonist before. Well, except for Kirk after they kill his son. Um, well, a story of a criminal pulled out of prison for a special mission that turns into a redemption arc has never...well, that's the entire story of Tom Paris in <i>Voyager</i>. Okay, but she's an African American woman leading the series, and there's nothing stereotypical at all about making her a convicted...ah, let's just move along.</li>
<li>Okay, well the captain, right, he's determined to win the war with the klingons at any cost, so much so he's willing to abuse this alien creature so his ship can run on an advanced warp-drive-thing, and so there's this ethical conflict at the heart of the show...which is exactly like what Captain Ranson did on the Equinox in <i>Voyager</i>. Um. And I guess the entire population of England in <i>Doctor Who</i>'s "The Beast Below." Er.</li>
<li>Wait, there's the awesome bad ass female chief of security who is especially dedicated to the captain and is killed in the first season...oh, right.</li>
<li>An alien first officer who has senses that humans lack and a grouchy doctor. Ah, right.</li>
<li>There's a tribble...</li>
<li>A female admiral? </li>
</ul>
Okay, fine. So far, lots of stuff is being recycled from other Star Trek shows. I don't care. Shut up. I love it anyway.Natalie Grinnellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14451685696152110716noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-874402671034281231.post-15470096151837028212017-09-10T19:56:00.001-07:002017-09-10T20:28:41.024-07:00Irma Is a BitchOkay so this blog title is a bit on the nose, but, gentle readers, I am tired, body and soul, and it's that nasty, evil Irma "I am a Category 5 and will fuck you up!" storm's fault, and I am all out of filters, gentle readers, I must warn you right now!<br />
<br />
I tell you beloved ones, this storm has wreaked havoc upon me by <i>not wreaking any actual havoc upon me at all</i> but upon others whom I could not help and this has pissed me off. You see, my dearest sister, Gretchen, who has appeared on this blog before, mostly when making fun of my texting failures, celebrated her 20th wedding anniversary with a trip to the Caribbean island of Saba last week. Also, she took her husband with her.<br />
<br />
(Personally, if I'd been living with someone for twenty years, I would celebrate by going off to an island paradise alone, but that's why my sister is in a happy marriage and I have two ungrateful cats.)<br />
<br />
But this bitch Irma comes along, and my sister has to flee. Unfortunately, she is not faster than a speeding-bitch hurricane, and they got stuck on St. Martin, and had to live through 185 mph winds with no electricity or cell phones or running water or internet, and I didn't know for hours and hours if they were alive or dead, but then they called and were alive! But they were stuck and could not get off of the island. So that's when I decided to try to help.<br />
<br />
So, precious ones, I started calling embassies and consulates, and, okay, I should have looked up the difference between those before writing this blog, but I have been holding off drinking any wine while this has been going on, and I am damned tired, so just leave me alone, okay? Go google it yourself.<br />
<br />
Now, St. Martin is half French and half Dutch and very, very flattened and destroyed by Bitch Irma, but I was a French major in college and lived in Paris, so I called all the numbers I found on the internet for help for Americans trapped on St Martin by the Bitch.<br />
<br />
The first phone call went like this:<br />
<br />
Person at consulate or embassy or whatever it was: "Bonjour?"<br />
<br />
Me: <gasps, screams and hangs up><br />
<br />
Okay, that didn't go so well. I panicked. But after counting to ten a couple of times, I tried again, and dredged up my rusty French and talked to someone who was very, very polite and no help whatsoever, but it was not his fault. It was that Bitch's fault because she was still out there, churning away as a Category 5 and heading north.<br />
<br />
I really hate that Bitch Irma. Did I mention that, beloved readers?<br />
<br />
So I went back on the internet where I had two hundred friend requests, all from Gretchen's friends (because, as I mentioned, she is popular and nice and friendly, and everyone was assuming I would be able to tell them something and was not the kind of person to randomly scream and hang up on consulates and embassies in a panic). Anyway, I accepted all these requests and then I searched and searched and discovered other people were recommending contacting the Dutch consulate even though Gretchen was on the French side. So I tried that, but I got an answering machine, and it was talking to me in Dutch.<br />
<br />
So then I called all the U.S. Senators I could think of to find out if they knew anything, and--now I'm sure this will come as a great shock to all of you--I found out that they knew nothing at all.<br />
<br />
Finally, I was on the twitter and found that there was an emergency number, but I was afraid to call it and get talked to in Dutch because if I screamed at French I figured I would just vomit or something when confronted with Dutch, but--oh frabjous day!--I have a friend who <i>does</i> speak Dutch! She called for me and found out that everyone apparently also spoke English on that emergency line, which I would have known if I weren't afraid of screaming and vomiting at an ambassador or something.<br />
<br />
I mean, I'd been calling U.S. Senators, and I don't know what gets you put on Homeland Security's Big List of Evil, but maybe screaming and hanging up at consulates will do it? I don't know. Later I tweeted at Homeland Security, but they did not tweet me back, so I think I'm in the Big Book of Evil now regardless.<br />
<br />
And if so, I know it's that Bitch Irma's fault.<br />
<br />
Also, the lovely people at the emergency line were not actually any help. There was a place on-line to register people with the State Department, and I filled it out six times and got an error message every time, and then I had to stop and cry for a while. Luckily, Gretchen's mother-in-law had already successfully registered her and her wonderful husband, so this crying was not necessary at all.<br />
<br />
It felt good, though.<br />
<br />
So then photos of St. Martin starting showing up on the internet and...they are very , very awful, and I shouted a bit and maybe broke a particularly ugly piece of pottery, but then found out that the articles had by-lines and the by-lines linked to email addresses, and I did a scary thing and started emailing reporters.<br />
<br />
Well, now my sister is famous for being stranded by the Bitch Irma, which is not what they called her in the <i>NY Post</i>, but I forgot to suggest it, so that's not their fault, really. You can google my sister and see that she even made the London papers, and that was great but she was still on St. Martin and had no power and no water and was running out of food, and I was freaking out.<br />
<br />
So I tried to distract myself by research, my dear ones, because research is a Thing I Do. I wanted to find out when a steampunk film called <i>Adèle Blanc-Sec</i> was made because I'm teaching steampunk fiction this semester--and it is the very coolest class, of course--and instead of just using the google, I made a big mistake and asked Siri about it.<br />
<br />
Siri is also a bitch, my friends.<br />
<br />
Can you guess what she did? I know you can because I only have ten followers of this blog and you all were her victims, weren't you? That Siri, she somehow texted song lyrics from Adele (the singer, not the film) to half of my contacts list in the middle of the night. And, okay, I said my sister is popular, but it's gratifying that so many people freaked out at those lyrics and texted and emailed me to tell me they love me and not to kill myself. Because, you know, Adele lyrics out of context make you sound suicidal, I guess.<br />
<br />
Thank you for all of the suicide hotline numbers, by the way.<br />
<br />
So now That Bitch Irma has upset all my friends and she hadn't even reached Florida yet.<br />
<br />
I really hate that bitch. Have you seen photos of those islands?<br />
<br />
Anyway, this entry is too long now, and I am going to go have that glass of wine at last because my sister and brother-in-law were flown out to Puerto Rico on a military plane today, and they are safe now, and even though they aren't home yet, they have hot showers and food, and I am so relieved and happy.<br />
<br />
But that Irma bitch has really fucked up those islands, so if you can donate something to help them, any of them, beloveds, you might do that. Don't just scream and hang up.Natalie Grinnellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14451685696152110716noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-874402671034281231.post-18944803882580292962017-05-31T08:42:00.000-07:002017-05-31T08:42:18.089-07:00Guest Post: Linguistic ConfusionGreetings, precious readers! While I have been in mourning, some of you have been very funny, and two of you have been so funny that you have become my second guest bloggers--hurray!<br />
<br />
So here is a transcribed conversation that has been making me giggle all morning, accompanied by illuminating footnotes for those of you who are not nerd enough to get the joke. Enjoy!<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>A Guest Post by A Friend of the Blog</b></div>
<br />
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "\.SFNSText-Regular"; font-size: 10.5pt; letter-spacing: -.2pt;">Her: I just think we should all go back to
speaking Akkadian*. After all, it was the first language of commerce.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background: white; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "\.SFNSText-Regular"; font-size: 10.5pt; letter-spacing: -.2pt;">Me: I'm sorry what? Acadian** was the first language of
commerce? When?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background: white; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "\.SFNSText-Regular"; font-size: 10.5pt; letter-spacing: -.2pt;">Her: You know, back in the BCs.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background: white; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "\.SFNSText-Regular"; font-size: 10.5pt; letter-spacing: -.2pt;">Me: Whaaaaat on earth are you on about? Nobody spoke
Acadian two thousand years ago!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background: white; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "\.SFNSText-Regular"; font-size: 10.5pt; letter-spacing: -.2pt;">Her: Sure they did. And the best part was that by the
time their language had become the language of trade, their own empire had
faded. So the language lived on long after the people themselves were gone.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background: white; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "\.SFNSText-Regular"; font-size: 10.5pt; letter-spacing: -.2pt;">Me: You think there was an Acadian EMPIRE now? WHERE?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background: white; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "\.SFNSText-Regular"; font-size: 10.5pt; letter-spacing: -.2pt;">Her: You know, in the Levant.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background: white; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "\.SFNSText-Regular"; font-size: 10.5pt; letter-spacing: -.2pt;">Me: Ooooooooooooooohhhhhhh. Never mind.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background: white; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "\.SFNSText-Regular"; font-size: 10.5pt; letter-spacing: -.2pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background: white; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "\.SFNSText-Regular"; font-size: 10.5pt; letter-spacing: -.2pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background: white; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "\.SFNSText-Regular"; font-size: 10.5pt; letter-spacing: -.2pt;">*An ancient language spoken in Mesopotamia</span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background: white; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 4.5pt; orphans: 2; text-align: start; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">
<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "\.SFNSText-Regular"; font-size: 10.5pt; letter-spacing: -.2pt;">**A variety of French spoken primarily in Canada</span></div>
Natalie Grinnellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14451685696152110716noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-874402671034281231.post-71153459041528584252017-04-25T12:23:00.001-07:002017-04-25T13:45:15.830-07:00Mom's Top ThirtyAs most of my readers know, I lost Mom recently, and as <i>all</i> of my readers know, Mom was a dear and precious delight. In her honor, I have created this list of my favorite appearances of Mom on this blog. Note that while some of you get a Top Ten, Mom gets a Top Thirty, as she was three times funnier than the rest of us.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Mom's Top Thirty Appearances on This Blog</b></div>
<br />
<br />
<ol>
<li>The first "<a href="http://funnierthangrading.blogspot.com/2011/12/real-conversation-with-mom.html" target="_blank">Real Conversation with Mom</a>"</li>
<li><a href="http://funnierthangrading.blogspot.com/2011/12/real-conversation-with-mom-new-years.html" target="_blank">New Year's Eve</a></li>
<li><a href="http://funnierthangrading.blogspot.com/2012/01/real-conversation-with-mom-refrigerator.html" target="_blank">The Refrigerator</a></li>
<li><a href="http://funnierthangrading.blogspot.com/2012/03/real-questions-from-mom.html" target="_blank">Real Questions from Mom</a></li>
<li><a href="http://funnierthangrading.blogspot.com/2012/03/specific-instructions-from-mom.html" target="_blank">Specific Instructions from Mom</a></li>
<li><a href="http://funnierthangrading.blogspot.com/2012/04/mom-takes-stand.html" target="_blank">Mom Takes a Stand</a></li>
<li><a href="http://funnierthangrading.blogspot.com/2012/05/real-conversation-with-mom-more-shoe.html" target="_blank">More Shoe Issues</a></li>
<li><a href="http://funnierthangrading.blogspot.com/2012/06/real-conversation-with-mom-rain.html" target="_blank">The Rain</a></li>
<li><a href="http://funnierthangrading.blogspot.com/2012/06/real-conversations-with-mom-watching.html" target="_blank">Watching People Work</a></li>
<li><a href="http://funnierthangrading.blogspot.com/2012/07/brief-conversation-with-mom-watching.html" target="_blank">Watching the Diving</a></li>
<li><a href="http://funnierthangrading.blogspot.com/2012/11/real-conversations-with-mom-football.html" target="_blank">Football and Cute Hats</a></li>
<li><a href="http://funnierthangrading.blogspot.com/2013/03/real-conversations-with-mom-watching.html" target="_blank">Watching the Today Show</a></li>
<li><a href="http://funnierthangrading.blogspot.com/2013/05/real-conversations-with-mom-excerpts.html" target="_blank">Excerpts from Finals Week</a></li>
<li><a href="http://funnierthangrading.blogspot.com/2013/06/real-conversations-with-mom-big-bang.html" target="_blank">Big Bang Theory</a></li>
<li><a href="http://funnierthangrading.blogspot.com/2013/07/real-conversations-with-mom-power-outage.html" target="_blank">The Power Outage</a></li>
<li><a href="http://funnierthangrading.blogspot.com/2013/09/real-conversations-with-mom-at-local.html" target="_blank">At the Local Diner</a></li>
<li><a href="http://funnierthangrading.blogspot.com/2013/09/real-conversations-with-mom.html" target="_blank">Respectability</a></li>
<li><a href="http://funnierthangrading.blogspot.com/2013/11/real-conversations-with-mom-academic.html" target="_blank">Academic Rank</a></li>
<li><a href="http://funnierthangrading.blogspot.com/2014/01/real-conversation-with-mom-there-is.html" target="_blank">Something Behind the Castle</a></li>
<li><a href="http://funnierthangrading.blogspot.com/2014/04/real-conversation-with-mom-firm-opinion.html" target="_blank">A Firm Opinion</a></li>
<li><a href="http://funnierthangrading.blogspot.com/2014/04/real-conversations-with-mom-grammar-and.html" target="_blank">Grammar</a></li>
<li><a href="http://funnierthangrading.blogspot.com/2014/04/brief-conversation-with-mom-its-all-in.html" target="_blank">All in her Mind</a></li>
<li><a href="http://funnierthangrading.blogspot.com/2014/05/real-conversation-with-mom-poof.html" target="_blank">Poof</a>!</li>
<li><a href="http://funnierthangrading.blogspot.com/2014/07/real-conversation-with-mom-on-mustangs.html" target="_blank">Mustangs</a></li>
<li><a href="http://funnierthangrading.blogspot.com/2014/12/real-conversations-with-mom-copycat.html" target="_blank">Copycat Decorations</a></li>
<li><a href="http://funnierthangrading.blogspot.com/2015/02/brief-convesation-with-mom-oscars.html" target="_blank">The Oscars</a></li>
<li><a href="http://funnierthangrading.blogspot.com/2015/04/brief-conversation-with-mom-rock-n-roll.html" target="_blank">Rock in Roll</a></li>
<li><a href="http://funnierthangrading.blogspot.com/2015/05/real-conversation-with-mom-mothers-day.html" target="_blank">Mother's Day Gifts</a></li>
<li><a href="http://funnierthangrading.blogspot.com/2015/08/real-conversation-with-mom-mail-is.html" target="_blank">The Mail</a></li>
<li><a href="http://funnierthangrading.blogspot.com/2015/12/very-brief-conversation-with-mom.html" target="_blank">Star Wars</a></li>
</ol>
Natalie Grinnellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14451685696152110716noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-874402671034281231.post-35469131218278565362017-04-10T17:00:00.000-07:002017-04-10T17:02:26.497-07:00A Passionate ConversationYou know these reddit memes that people send around with really funny comments, dear readers? Well, my facebook feed had a really funny thread, and here it is (names <strike>deleted</strike> corrected to protect the passionate):<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>A Passionate Conversation on my Facebook Feed</b></div>
<div aria-label="Comment" class="UFIRow UFILastComment UFIComment _4oep" data-ft="{"tn":"R"}" role="article" style="background-color: #f6f7f9; font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; margin: 0px 12px; padding: 4px 0px; position: relative; word-wrap: break-word;">
<div class="_3b-9" style="font-family: inherit; position: relative;">
<div style="font-family: inherit;">
<div class="clearfix" direction="left" style="font-family: inherit; zoom: 1;">
<div class="" style="font-family: inherit;">
<div class="UFIImageBlockContent _42ef clearfix" direction="right" style="font-family: inherit; margin: 0px; overflow: hidden; padding-left: 8px; zoom: 1;">
<div class="" style="font-family: inherit;">
<div class="UFICommentContentBlock" style="font-family: inherit; padding-right: 12px; position: relative;">
<div class="UFICommentContent" style="color: #1d2129; font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="UFICommentContent" style="color: #1d2129; font-family: inherit;">
Cool Dude:<i> <span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 9pt;">Impactful is not a word. Just sayin '.</span></i></div>
<div class="UFICommentContent" style="color: #1d2129; font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 9pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="UFICommentContent" style="color: #1d2129; font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 9pt;">Extremely Cool Woman: </span><span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 9pt;"><i>It's in MW unabridged.
It's a word. You don't have to like it, but it's definitely a word.</i></span></div>
<div class="UFICommentContent" style="color: #1d2129; font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 9pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="UFICommentContent" style="color: #1d2129; font-family: inherit;">
Extremely Cool Woman, Yet Again:<i> <span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 9pt;">I AM A STAUNCH DESCRIPTIVIST WITH PMS FROM HELL. COME AT ME, BRO</span></i></div>
<div class="UFICommentContent" style="color: #1d2129; font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 9pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="UFICommentContent" style="color: #1d2129; font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 9pt;">Cool Dude: </span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 9pt;"><i>OK fine.</i> <i>But it is a crappy word. So there.</i></span></div>
<div class="UFICommentContent" style="color: #1d2129; font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 9pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="UFICommentContent" style="color: #1d2129; font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 9pt;">Extremely Cool Woman, Somewhat Calmer:<i> </i></span><span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 9pt;"><i>I'll accept that</i>. </span></div>
<div class="UFICommentContent" style="color: #1d2129; font-family: inherit;">
<br /></div>
<div class="UFICommentContent" style="color: #1d2129; font-family: inherit;">
Possible Fewmet*-Stirrer:<i> <span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 9pt;">I prefer "impactrocious."</span></i></div>
<div class="UFICommentContent" style="color: #1d2129; font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 9pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="UFICommentContent" style="color: #1d2129; font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 9pt;">Possible Fewmet-Stirrer, again: </span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 9pt;"><i>Or the more conservative "impactronic."</i></span></div>
<div class="UFICommentContent" style="color: #1d2129; font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 9pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="UFICommentContent" style="color: #1d2129; font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 9pt;">Dude with Alarmingly Excited Photo: </span><span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 9pt;"><i>I AM A LINGUIST. TELL ME
WHAT A WORD IS, NON-LINGUIST.</i></span></div>
<div class="UFICommentContent" style="color: #1d2129; font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 9pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="UFICommentContent" style="color: #1d2129; font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 9pt;">Extremely Cool Woman, Now in Her Element:<i> </i></span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 9pt;"><i>(oh no! the descriptivists' bike gang is coming for J with bike chains
a-swinging!)</i></span></div>
<div class="UFICommentContent" style="color: #1d2129; font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 9pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="UFICommentContent" style="color: #1d2129; font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 9pt;">Cool Dude Who Is Uncool with Both "Impactful" and Proper Swear Words: </span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 9pt;"><i>Some words should be sent straight to heck. All variations on the word
impact should be banished. I blame newscasters.</i></span></div>
<div class="UFICommentContent" style="color: #1d2129; font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 9pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="UFICommentContent" style="color: #1d2129; font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 9pt;">Unexpected Visitor: </span><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 9pt;"><i>I don't love the word "impactful" but I super don't love
realfarmacy dot com.</i></span></div>
<div class="UFICommentContent" style="color: #1d2129; font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 9pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="UFICommentContent" style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: 9pt;"><span style="color: #1d2129;">Definite Fewmet-Stirrer: </span></span><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "calibri"; font-size: 9pt;"> <i>Natalie Grinnell, the following needs to make it into your funniest-people-on-facebook dealie: I
AM A STAUNCH DESCRIPTIVIST WITH PMS FROM HELL. COME AT ME, BRO</i></span></div>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="table of figures"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="envelope address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="envelope return"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="footnote reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="line number"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="page number"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="endnote reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="endnote text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="table of authorities"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="macro"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="toa heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Closing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Message Header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Salutation"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Date"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Document Map"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Theme"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
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<o:p>And as it was posted, so shall it be.</o:p></div>
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Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Document Map"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Theme"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="List Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="List Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="List Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="table of figures"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="envelope address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="envelope return"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="footnote reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="line number"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="page number"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="endnote reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="endnote text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="table of authorities"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="macro"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="toa heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Closing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Message Header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Salutation"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Date"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Document Map"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Theme"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="List Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="List Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="List Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 5"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="table of figures"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="envelope address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="envelope return"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="footnote reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="line number"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="page number"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="endnote reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="endnote text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="table of authorities"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="macro"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="toa heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Closing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Message Header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Salutation"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Date"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Document Map"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Theme"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
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Natalie Grinnellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14451685696152110716noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-874402671034281231.post-15053389486708476442017-04-04T15:52:00.001-07:002017-04-04T15:52:59.266-07:00Again I am posting! Two blog posts in a week! Alas, I am not feeling the funny right now, readers, but it is so fortunate that many of my facebook friends are witty and clever. Here I present my top ten facebook posts of the first week of April:<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Top Ten Facebook Posts of the First Week of April 2017</b></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: Georgia; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia; mso-fareast-font-family: Georgia;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="background: #F6F7F9; color: #1d2129; font-family: Georgia; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">THE PLUMBER THINKS IT IS SEWAGE NOT CHAUCER<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Georgia; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia; mso-fareast-font-family: Georgia;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="background: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: Georgia; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Books : one can never have too many of them. Except when one
is packing them up to move.</span><span style="font-family: Georgia; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Georgia; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia; mso-fareast-font-family: Georgia;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="background: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: Georgia; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">If stupidity hurt, some people would be howling with pain all
day long.</span><span style="font-family: Georgia; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Georgia; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia; mso-fareast-font-family: Georgia;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">4.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="background: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: Georgia; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">"Flint Dibble" is an excellent name for an
archaeologist.</span><span style="font-family: Georgia; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Georgia; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia; mso-fareast-font-family: Georgia;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">5.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="background: #F6F7F9; color: #1d2129; font-family: Georgia; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I ate two carrots and am sitting outside barefoot reading a
nerd book. Like the opposite of kinky fetishy sex.</span><span style="font-family: Georgia; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Georgia; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia; mso-fareast-font-family: Georgia;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">6.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="background: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: Georgia; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Oh, Prosopography of Anglo-Saxon England, I love you so.</span><span style="font-family: Georgia; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Georgia; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia; mso-fareast-font-family: Georgia;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">7.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="background: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: Georgia; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I am Brian!</span><span style="font-family: Georgia; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Georgia; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia; mso-fareast-font-family: Georgia;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">8.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="background: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: Georgia; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">HAUNTED DOLL WATCH</span><span style="font-family: Georgia; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Georgia; mso-bidi-font-family: Georgia; mso-fareast-font-family: Georgia;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">9.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="background: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: Georgia; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Started out the week right by knocking my glasses into the
toilet. Yay, Monday.</span><span style="font-family: Georgia; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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</style>Natalie Grinnellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14451685696152110716noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-874402671034281231.post-63158583740162781682017-03-30T19:56:00.001-07:002017-03-30T20:00:57.901-07:00Facebook Greatest HitsBeloved readers, I have returned! Many are the complaints I have received for my absence, and I apologize to all and sundry.<br />
<br />
To make it up to you, I am posting the Greatest Hits Facebook posts of a Friend of Mine, whose posts have given me many a chortle, sigh, and head-tilt due to his wisdom and good humor.<br />
<br />
Behold!<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Facebook Greatest Hits by A Friend</b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="background: #f6f7f9; color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman";">What
presidency hasn't had its National Security Advisor resign and seek immunity in
less than 9 weeks in office?</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="background: #f6f7f9; color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman";">Trump's
definition of a deal is that he bullies and the other side caves.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #1d2129; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #1d2129;">A call to arms for
Historians. To the barricades! Wait, no, that's defensive.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead! No,
that's nautical.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraph" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">4.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="background: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman";">(That's
the kind of reference you're more likely to get when your student autonomy is
violated and your college makes you take Western Civ.)</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div style="background: white; margin-bottom: 4.5pt; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: #1d2129; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">5.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #1d2129;">The POTUS sent out 6
whining tweets between 3:26 and 4:02 am.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Somehow, I don't find this reassuring<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">6.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="background: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman";">I
only saw two nominees for Best Picture, "La La Land " and
"Arrival," and I liked "Arrival" better, so it should win.
(I'm not sure this makes me different from most of the people who actually get
to vote on this.)</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">7.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="background: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman";">February
23. Grading on the deck in short sleeves. 73°. Man, when those Chinese pull a
hoax, they go all out.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">8.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="background: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman";">Flynn
was not the ultimate target. The leaks will continue until morale improves, I
guess.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">9.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="background: #f6f7f9; color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman";">How
bad was Flynn? Just about everyone thinks the guy on probation for passing
classified information to his lover would be an improvement.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">10.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="background: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman";">Maybe he should form a special leaks-finding
group. Call them the Plumbers, maybe. What could go wrong?</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">11.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="background: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman";">It's the easiest thing in the world to denounce
past injustices. What's hard is seeing what is happening in your own time and
saying "this is wrong." </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="envelope return"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="footnote reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="line number"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="page number"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="endnote reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="endnote text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="table of authorities"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="macro"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="toa heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Closing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Message Header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Salutation"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Date"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Document Map"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Theme"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Level 9"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
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<!--StartFragment-->
<!--EndFragment--><br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">12.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="background: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: "times new roman";">So, "a member of Trump’s transition team
floated the idea of including tanks and missile launchers in the inaugural
parade." Nothing tin-pot dictator-y about that AT ALL.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
Natalie Grinnellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14451685696152110716noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-874402671034281231.post-35371351263536070122016-07-12T20:49:00.001-07:002016-07-12T20:49:21.892-07:00HeartbreakingMom: Stop this car so that I can smack that guy.<br />
<br />
Me: No.<br />
<br />
Mom: You never let me do what I want to do!<br />
<br />
Me: That's because everything you want to do is a felony.<br />
<br />
Mom: You are no fun. It's heartbreaking, really heartbreaking that you never let me do what I want to do!<br />
<br />
Me: Yes, I am a terrible daughter.<br />
<br />
----------------<br />
<br />
Mom: Oh! Did you see that! Pull over, so I can smack the <expletive deleted> out of that guy!<br />
<br />
Me: We've talked about this.<br />
<br />
Mom: Listen, you put it on the computer, and all your computer friends said that you should let me do what I want!<br />
<br />
Me: That's because none of my computer friends would have to come up with the cash to bail you out of jail.<br />
<br />
Mom: (long pause) That's not how it works. They wouldn't charge me anything.<br />
<br />
Me: What are you talking about?<br />
<br />
Mom: People over seventy-five don't have to pay any bail.<br />
<br />
Me: That is not true.<br />
<br />
Mom: How do you know? <i>How do you know?</i> It is true. And you should let me do what I want.<br />
<br />
Me: No.<br />
<br />
Mom: My Kimmy would let me do it. My Alyce would let me do it. All your computer friends would let me...<br />
<br />
Me: Mom! We do not live in a society where you turn seventy-five and can go around committing felonious assault any time you want!<br />
<br />
Mom: (long pause) Can I have a baby elephant?<br />
<br />
Me: No. Natalie Grinnellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14451685696152110716noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-874402671034281231.post-90657606572010462092016-07-03T17:50:00.000-07:002016-07-03T17:50:47.974-07:00Unanticipated Assistance<u>Scene 1: Grocery Store Parking Lot</u><br /><br />
Me: "Hi!"<br />
<br />
Wonderful friends: "Hey! <insert standard small talk here>"<br />
<br />
Me: <more pleasant chatter><br />
<br />
Wonderful friends: "So, do you need your grocery list? Because you texted it to us this morning."<br />
<br />
Me: "Ugh! So sorry!"<br />
<br />
-------------<br />
<u>Scene II: Produce Section</u><br />
<br />
Delightful neighbor: "Don't forget the watermelon."<br />
<br />
Me: "What?"<br />
<br />
Delightful neighbor: "The watermelon. It was on the grocery list you texted me this morning. Don't forget it."<br />
<br />
Me: "Oh no! Um...thanks!"<br />
<br />
Delightful neighbor: "No problem, dear."<br />
---------------<br />
<u>Scene III: Frozen Foods</u><br />
<br />
Colleague from Work: "I don't see the cherry pie. You're supposed to get a cherry pie."<br />
<br />
Me: "Um...did I text that to you this morning?"<br />
<br />
Colleague: "You did. Don't forget it."<br />
<br />
Me: "Thanks. And sorry for the text."<br />
<br />
Colleague: "I'm saving it for the fall party!"<br />
<br />
Me: "Wonderful."<br />
<br />
-----------------<br />
<u>Scene IV: While Searching for Raspberry Tea</u><br />
<br />
Former Student: "Hey, did you remember the cheese?"<br />
<br />
Me: "Alright! <i>What is this?</i> I don't even have your cell phone number!"<br />
<br />
Former Student (backing away slowly): "Uh, you posted it to facebook this morning."<br />
<br />
Me: "I did not!"<br />
<br />
Former Student: "Then how did I know about the cheese?"<br />
<br />
Me: <growl><br />
--------------------<br />
<u>Scene V: The Check-out Line</u><br />
<br />
Cashier: "Did you find everything you were looking for?"<br />
<br />
Me: <very shouty> "YES!"<br />
<br />
Cashier: ?!<br />
<br />
Me: <quietly> "I'm sorry. I'm having some trouble working my phone."<br />
<br />
Cashier: "It's okay, honey. They don't make them for us normal people anymore."<br />
<br />
Me: "No, no, they don't." <whispering> "The phones are evil."<br />
<br />
Cashier: "Right. Evil. You go home and rest now."Natalie Grinnellhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14451685696152110716noreply@blogger.com0