Mom: "Now, I have a question for you."
Me: "This is not one of those random questions which make me feel like a human encyclopedia, is it?"
Mom: "Listen, I have told you that whenever I have a question, you are supposed to have the answer. You have that doctor's degree, so you have to know everything I need you to know."
Me: "That's not actually how it works."
Mom: "That's how I want it to work! Now, shut up and listen. This is a grammar question. Can I ask you a grammar question without you being a pain in the ass?"
Me: "Yes. I will answer a grammar question."
Mom: "Why is it that you can't end a sentence with it?"
Me: "It what?"
Mom: "I told you not to be a pain in the ass! The word it. Why can't you end at sentence with it?"
Me: "You can. In fact, you just did. Good job!"
Mom: "That's not what they said on Raymond."
Me: "You mean in the episode about Tom Sawyer?"
Me: "It really worries me that I knew exactly what you were talking about just then. I'd never even watched that show until you came to live with me."
Mom: "It really worries me that you have not answered my question. Would you like this hot oatmeal in your lap?"
Me: "She said that you can't end a sentence with a preposition. Raymond ended a sentence with at."
Mom: "What is a preposition?"
Me: "It's a word, usually a short word, that shows how its object relates to the rest of the sentence. Like, on, of, at..."
Me: "No. Ass is not a preposition."
Mom: "A-S, as?"
Me: "Oh, yes, that is a preposition. There is an old-fashioned rule that says that you have to keep the preposition next to its object--the thing it's relating to the rest of the sentence--rather than letting it dangle at the end."
Mom: "No dangling asses? This is a grammar rule? Hee-hee."
Me: "You know that's not what I said."
Mom: "No dangling asses. You know, there are lots of people doing grammar wrong if that's the rule."