Saturday, May 9, 2015

Real Conversation with Mom: Mother's Day Gifts

Me:  So what would you like for Mother's Day?

Mom:  A strand of real pearls.

Me:  What would you like for Mother's Day that I will actually get for you?

Mom:  A hot naked man...yum, yum!

Me:  I've asked you not to do that.

Mom:  I don't know what's wrong with you.

Me:  What would you like for Mother's Day that I will actually get for you and that will not embarrass me if we are overheard?

Mom:  Well, that's no fun.  You've taken out almost everything I want!

Me:  That is a darned shame.

Mom:  I guess I could use a blender to make my smoothies.  Or some pretty t-shirts. Pretty ones, not ugly ones that are all busy or with flowers or something.  Pretty!  Do you know pretty?

Me:   This you care what brand it is?

Mom:  No, but it should be pretty too.  A pink one.  Or yellow.  That would be pretty.  Yes!  A yellow or a pink blender!

Me:  I don't think there is such a thing, Mom.

Mom: This is my day!  I will have a pretty blender or heads will roll!

Me:  Maybe I can find a naked man.

Mom:  He must also be pretty.  And rich!

Me:  You're just setting me up for failure, aren't you?

Mom:  Well, maybe.  But now you will know how your students feel.

Update:  Okay, thanks everyone. I concede that both pink and yellow blenders exist.  Lots of them.  Everywhere.

Really, you can stop sending me pictures of them now. 

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