Brief Conversation with Mom: The Oscars

Mom: Who is that?

Me: Lupita Nyong’o

Mom:  She wins.  I'm going to bed now.

Me:  Wait!  What do you mean she wins?  Wins what?

Mom:  Everything.  She wins everything.

Me:  It doesn't work that way.

Mom:  Do you see that dress?  She is entirely wrapped in pearls, and she looks young and beautiful.  No one else can do that.  It's over, and she wins.

Me:  But...

Mom:  I'm going to bed, and the rest of these people should go to bed too.  No one can beat that woman at anything tonight.  Give it up and go to bed! 

And as it was spoken, so it was done.