Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Dissed by the Bloggess

I have been dissed by the Bloggess.  Why, Jenny, why?

You see, I tried to add a comment to the post she made that I referred to in my last post.  This one:

It's been two whole days, and my comment has not appeared.  I'm pretty sure that means it was rejected, which means the Bloggess has dissed me.

I'm really bummed about this.

See, originally, one of her list of author-unknown quotations with commentary looked like this: 

"'It takes hands to build a house, but only hearts can build a home.'  Edgar Allen Poe would disagree."

Funny, right?  But you, my dear readers, can see the problem, yes?  It should be "Edgar Allan Poe," instead.  Allan, not Allen.  So I added a comment and proposed the theory that Poe kept writing about death and blood and bloody death because of years of abusive misspelling of his name.  I mean, was that rude? I guess you could say so, because The Bloggess is not only funnier than I am, but she's much more popular and who really cares whether you spell Poe's name Allan or Allen

Well, I care, dammit.   And someone has to stand up for the rights of dead nineteenth century authors, right?  Right?

Anyway, I looked through the other comments, comments that weren't rejected, and apparently what I was supposed to do is add an "author unknown" quotation of my own with a witty response.  Like so, perhaps:

"A rose by any other name is spelled the same."  Unless you have the bad luck to be named Edgar Allan Poe, bitches!

So maybe my comment was rejected because it wasn't phrased in the form of an imitation. 

On the other hand, there is apparently another commentator who signs in as "Natalie," and she writes:  "When did 110% become the new 100%? Especially considering that 110% is mathematically impossible. If you want me to wear 27 pieces of flair, make the requirement 27 pieces of flair instead of 15 pieces of flair."

If the Bloggess thinks that we're the same Natalie, just using two different e-mail addresses, then maybe she was horrified that the same person would correct her spelling in one comment and make her do math in another.  And I have to agree that this would be over the top.  But she posted Math Natalie's comment, so I can only conclude that Math Natalie is funnier than I am or better at promoting the values of mathiness on the internet (as opposed to proper spelling on the internet which no one cares about, obviously) because she did not get dissed the way I did.

I have to tell you, Math Natalie, I'm feeling a little resentful right now.

Then, today, I went back and looked at the comments again, hoping that The Bloggess was just running behind in approving comments, and my patience would be rewarded.  And do you know what I found?  The Bloggess's post now reads:

"'It takes hands to build a house, but only hearts can build a home.'  Edgar Allan Poe would disagree."

What?!  The spelling has been corrected!  And is there a thank you note on the blog?  Does my comment with its witty suggestion that Poe was depressed due to rampant orthographical abuse of his name appear on the page?  No, it does not!  Poe's name is now spelled correctly, and I was not given any credit!

WTF, Bloggess?  Did I just imagine that Poe's name was spelled Allen on your blog originally?  It's possible, I suppose.  I imagine a lot of crazy things, and I have been having that dream about being attacked by sentient grapefruit again.  Or maybe all of my students, past and present, descended upon The Bloggess's page, chanting Allan, Allan, Allan! and Jenny was so terrified of these hordes of spelling experts that she didn't dare to post any of their comments, just quietly capitulating and hoping no one would notice.

Actually, that would be pretty cool.  

Hordes of my former students marching on the blogosphere, dictionaries in hand, intimidating popular bloggers into changing every "That's so cliche" to "That's so clichéd" and issuing warnings for the rampant misuse of the semi-colon:  Goddess, what a beautiful image.  I would be much less bummed about being dissed by The Bloggess if I could produce a my own horde. 

The Learning Outcomes for my fall classes just got a whole lot more exciting.


1 comment:

  1. Well, there's a nice word in Finnish you might as well love: Pilkunnussija. It describes a person who thinks his or her fate is to correct every misspelling with little regard to his or her popularity, self-esteem or well-being. Ok, I hated at first, but now I'm all "Yes! Pilkunnussija... and proud!". For the record, I think your comment was hilarious.