Saturday, March 10, 2012

My Half of Conversations with My Niece

"No, I don't have any glue."

"Sure, you can use the glitter glue.  No, you may not use the glitter glue on the cat."

"Please don't walk on the sofa."

"Please don't walk on the other sofa."

"No, the cat is allowed to walk on the sofa.  I know it's not fair.  Meowing will not help; you still can't walk on the sofas, but the cats can.  Deal with it."

"Yes, I am very kooky.  You are quite intelligent to have noticed."

"I'm staring at you because you're so beautiful.  Yes, it is.  That was my sincere voice."

"You did not hear me say that.  You DID NOT.  And you will not repeat it.  Ever.  Especially in front of your mom.  Do you promise?  Pinky promise?  Listen, if you mess this up and repeat what I said, we will both get spankings and not the good kind."

"I'll tell you what that means when you're seventeen.  No, do NOT ask your mother!  Please?  Here, have a candy cane*."

"I love you too."


*I swear, Gretchen, that I did not actually give her a candy cane.  That's artistic license.  No, I'm not lying.  You can count them if you don't believe me.

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