Saturday, December 17, 2011

This Is All Kim's Fault

This is probably a bad idea.  This blog, I mean.  It's not that I don't have anything to write or that I think people won't enjoy reading it.  No, it's just that the only filter between me and the vast internet is, well, my own sense of decorum.

Hark!  Seriously, hark!  Hear that?  That's all of my friends snickering or flinching at that last sentence.  They know I don't have any damn sense of decorum.  Even my employers know that which is why they wince if they see anyone remotely important (a Board member, a wealthy donor) get within ten feet of me.  Then they hustle over to "make introductions" which really means hope like hell their presence will keep me from saying anything embarrassing.

I have at least one colleague who has a blog, though, and so far he hasn't been fired for it.  That's Mark Byrnes, by the way, and his blog "The Past Isn't Past" provides insightful, educated commentary on politics and history and the history of politics.  You will not find that here.

There are, on the other hand, plenty of humorous blogs out there, and some of them are even funny.  I'm going to put links to my two favorites in the sidebar if I can figure out how blogger works.  Don't hold your breath.

So clearly me writing a blog is neither necessary nor particularly desirable, but that didn't stop me from trying to cut down bamboo at 1am this summer (thanks, neighbors-who-called-the-cops-on-the-person-with-a-scythe-lurking-on-my-property!  someday, we will groan about that over drinks), and it's obviously not going to stop me now.  But it wasn't my idea; I want that to be perfectly clear at the outset.  This is Kim's fault.  Well, Kim and my sister's new dog.

You see, my friend Kim had a baby this year, and my sister's family got a new dog.  While Kim was on leave bonding with her offspring and learning how to function without sleep, or pretend to function, or just give the frak up on functioning, I started sending her mildly humorous anecdotes so that she wouldn't think we'd given away her office and sold all of her books while she was gone.  One of these anecdotes was about my sister's family's new dog and how it tried to kill me.  Kim seemed to think it was pretty funny, and she told me that I should start a blog and that if I did she'd even read it.

Red flag in front of a bull, my friends, red frakkin' flag.

But I'm not entirely confident that writing a blog won't get me fired or stalked or sued or something, so, Kim, if you're reading this (and you'd damn well better be), if one of those things happens, I'm moving in with you and your beloved husband and adorable offspring, so you might want to start fixing up the guest room just in case.


  1. Welcome to the Dark Side! Now you, too, will spend the hours you planned to spend grading papers reading reader's comments, commenting on reader's comments, trying to figure out how to drive more readers to your site, and brainstorming and drafting new posts. Congrats! :o)

  2. Dood. Post again! Post again! Thanks for giving me so much credit --er, or was it blame? How many glasses of wine did that take, btw?

  3. No wine tonight. Just very relaxed at having my grading done. And there is a second post. That's more than enough from me in one day.