Cast of Characters:
Me played by Me
Artemis (pseudonym for Me) also played by Me
Q and A:
Artemis: "So, I have a few questions for you about this blog. Would you mind interrupting your busy cookie-baking schedule to satisfy my curiosity?"
Me: "I'd be delighted. The mulled wine cookies were a disaster, and I find myself in genuine need of a diversion."
Artemis: "First of all, and I hope you don't mind if I'm blunt, but there have been some comments about the language in your first blog entry. I see here that in spite of the fact that you do not have an adult content warning on your blog, you have used a few expletives, to wit: damn, hell and frak. Don't you feel this is a bit indecorous?"
Me: "If you would refer to that very same blog entry, you will note that I have no sense of decorum, so the fact that my language can be a touch salty should not come as a complete surprise. I have decided, however, to limit my use of expletives to three: damn, hell and curse words from science fiction."
Artemis: "The latter category then is not limited to the word frak?"
Me: "Oh, indeed, not! I'm certain that the word frell will appear at some appropriate time, and I'm conducting research into the less savory conversation of the Time Lords as well."
Artemis: "Will you be referring to anyone as a p'tahk, perchance?"
Me: "Possibly, possibly. One never knows when one will need to drop a bit of klingon into one's prose, but I am prepared for that eventuality."
Artemis: "I'm relieved to hear it. But you will not be using stronger expletives in your blog? Given your lack of decorum, one wonders why not?"
Me: "As you know, being, of course, me, I am in fact a professor, a condition that involves having students on a somewhat regular basis."
Artemis: "Yes, yes, I accept that. So you're restricting your use of expletives to avoid setting a bad example?"
Me: "Ah, that would be a nice explanation! Let's go with that, shall we?"
Artemis: "Wait, you had another explanation..."
Me: "But I like yours better! Yes, I'm trying to set a good example for my students. Write it up just that way."
Artemis: "If I must. But it seems to me you're being deliberately infuriating."
Me: "Being me, you should know."
Artemis: "Speaking of students, will you be including any anecdotes about them on this blog? I believe you have a great many humorous tales concerning those who've come through your classroom."
Me: "I do, but none of them will be posted here."
Artemis: "No tales about students?!"
Me: "Certainly not. A professor has a certain amount of power over students, not only by virtue of the authority to record grades, but also due to age and experience. Self-deprecating humor is delightful, but when the powerful ridicule the less powerful, well, that's just distasteful."
Artemis: "Very high-minded of you. Almost suspiciously so. Please remember that, being you, I have a certain insight into your true motivations."
Me: "Oh, very well. If I started blogging about students, I'm fairly certain I would, sooner or later, get fired."
Artemis: "Reluctantly, I must agree."
Me: "I'm glad. I really do hate when we fight."
Artemis: "Naturally. Since I am, of course, you, we always lose in the end."
Me: "Though we win as well. And on that note, we must both repair to the kitchen to work on removing those wine stains."