Me: "Mom, if you could have a superpower, what would it be?"
Mom: "Oh, I have to think about that."
[long, long pause involving much kissing of cats]
Mom: "Okay, I think Supergirl."
Me: "No, not what superhero would you be, but which super power would you have. You only get one."
Mom: "Oh! I would turn invisible."
Me: "You can't answer like that! That's creepy!"
Mom: "I would like to be creepy. I would go invisible, and I would go to school and see what you do. And then I would watch the students. And I would watch the neighbors. And I would go down and watch your sister too."
Me: "You would spy on your own children."
Mom: "Yes, I would."
Mom: "So I could blackmail you, of course."
Me: "You would blackmail your own children?!"
Mom: "Yes, and my kitties would come with me, and they would be invisible too, and I would hold one under one arm and one under the other, and no one could see us. And I would go to football games, and if they were bad to my guys, we would come up and punch them and run away, and they couldn't see us."
Me: "It sounds creepy."
Mom: "Yes, yes, it is creepy."
Me: "In fact, it sounds like you want to be a super villain."
Mom: "Yeah! That is what I want! I will be a super villain, and I will kick ass!"
Me: "Good lord."