I, on the other hand, am chipper as a chipmunk, having had a stimulating mug of English breakfast tea an hour ago, so I decided to compose for you my last missive from the 49th International Congress of Medieval Studies.
Best Lines Overheard At Kalamazoo 2014,
or, Why I Kept Grinning Like a Maniac When Medievalists Were Talking
- "Didn't someone want to paint with your blood?" "Yes, that was a medievalist."
- "Is this your....ointment?"
- "Oh, there's your psycho friend!" "Which one?"
- "Don't forget: you forced a duck penis on me, Natalie."
- "We were all nerds in high school; the only question is, how much of a nerd were you? And you, you were a member of the A-V club."
- "I don't eat fish, but whales are mammals."
- "Wow. She ripped Margery Kempe a new one."
- "Apparently, I'm slippery."
- "I like my bazoombas to be up and out. Winking at people."
- "Our dough has risen!"
- "Listen, I do not care what they say about me. They can say that I'm totally wrong and dead between the ears, just as long as they cite me correctly."
- "How comfortable are you with night terrors?"
- "I do have a cute pussy. In fact, I have three."
- "Beware, Natalie! Goose ahead! Goose ahead!"
- "They always publish everything together. It's kind of nauseating."
- "First, you take a dead puffin, and you insert it into a seal..."
- "Geese mate for life. You have doomed that goose to celibacy."
- "Somebody else please say something ridiculous. I'm tired of hearing about the rising dough."
- "Never, ever let your family interfere with John Gower."
- "I always wear pointy shoes at the book exhibits on Sunday morning. What do you mean,'why?' What are you, a grad student? You have to kick some kneecaps to get to the half-price bargains."
- "I don't know. He seemed pretty smart when he was reading his paper, but later he couldn't tell Gandalf from Dumbledore, if you know what I mean."
- "Are you offering your cherry to everyone at the table?"