Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Pottery Injuries

Once again, dear readers, I am using the ice packs this evening.  This time I have injured myself in pottery class.  Again.  I find this really, really frustrating.  Here is a list of reasons why:

Six Reasons Why It's Really Frustrating
to Injure Yourself in Pottery Class

1. Centripetal force is a bugger.  See this:

F = ma_c = \frac{m v^2}{r}

Dudes, see that little 2?  That means squared.  Do you know what it does on a pottery wheel?  It means that if I speed the wheel up, the force goes up really a whole lot.  And if I try to resist it at the wrong angle, physics will kick my ass, resulting in injuries to the entire right side of my body.    Seriously.  Centripetal force is a bugger.  It will get you.*

2.  You cannot make a good story out of a pottery injury.  Believe me, I've tried.  Just today, a student said, "Dr. Grinnell, are you okay?"  And I thought for a minute and said, "No, I have this ice pack on my shoulder because I had to fight off alien ninjas trying to steal the leftover Halloween candy."  See, that makes a good story.  But this student gave me the Student Look of Scorn, and I caved:  "Sorry.  I hurt myself in pottery class.  Did you need me to sign that form?"  And my reputation as a bad ass melted away.

3. Your doctor will not respect a pottery injury.  He will shake his head and tell you to take ibuprofen and use rest and ice and heat.  He might even tell you to take a week or two off from doing pottery which is clearly not a reasonable course of action.  Certain doctors might even suggest that pottery is not the best hobby for you at which point you must remind him about the time you sliced open your thigh with the bypass pruners which caused much more bleeding than any pottery injury, including the time you sliced open your hand on the throwing batte.


Anyway, you will not receive empathy, let alone sympathy, from your doctor.

4. Your cat will not respect a pottery injury.  Just because all of the muscles from your neck down through your arm and back are screaming does not mean that you can let off petting him.  If you try there will be...consequences.

5. Your mom will not respect a pottery injury.   Not even a tiny, little bit.

6. Your colleagues will not respect a pottery injury.  They won't even pause in their conversation to say, "there, there" or "I hope you feel better soon."  Ask me how I know this.  Go ahead, ask.

I know you won't ask.

Fine.  You can't have any more pottery.
*At lunch today, it was pointed out to me that it's probably torque, rather than centripetal force, that's causing my injuries.  Having spent fifteen minutes with my old high school physics book, I've decided that this person is probably right.  So, sorry, centripetal force!  Torque, you're a bugger.

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