I have such wonderful friends and family; they all know how miserable it is to have a cold, mostly because I insist on telling them. But when it comes to giving me sympathetic words, well, um, here's a sample of what people have told me today:
1. "At least a squirrel didn't attack you!"
2. "You know what would make your life a living hell, don't you? If you give that cold to your mother. Try not to do that."
3. "That's bad. At least you didn't have vomit on you this time."
4. "No open wounds, though, right? You haven't stabbed yourself in a long time!"
5. "Well, aren't you glad you don't have a cold in the middle ages? You'd probably be dead by now."