Real Conversations on the Phone

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Me: "Hello?"

Voice:  "Hello?  Is this Dr. Natalie?"

Me: "No, this is Dr. Grinnell.  If I meet Dr. Natalie, I'll tell her you called."

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Me:  "Hello?"

Voice:  "Hello.  Is this Dr. Grinnell?"

Me:  "It is.  How may I help you?"

Voice:  "I represent a publishing company, the [publisher I've never heard of].  We are looking for textbook proposals..."

Me:  "Excellent!  I'm glad you called.  I would like to propose that I write a textbook on how to avoid telemarketers."

Voice:  "That does not seem to be an academic textbook, but if you would like to write a proposal..."

Me:  "I could put goats in it."

Voice:  "Excuse me.  Did you say goats?"

Me:  "Telemarketers are a serious problem for goats.  But in order to emphasize the importance of this issue to academics around the world, we could include photos of the goats.  Naked photos."

Voice:  "I am not sure you are understanding the kind of company I represent."

Me:  "You would like the goats to wear loincloths?  I don't think they'd like that, but I could try...<click>...hello?"

<ring>

Me:  "Hello?"

Voice:  "Hello.  This is [still haven't heard of it or found it on the internet] Publishers.  May I speak to Dr. Natalie Grinnell who is a professor, please?"

Me:  "You've changed your mind about the naked goats!"

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