Monday, December 29, 2014

Real Conversation with Mom: the Transporter Room

The Coolest Christmas Gift Ever!

Me:  I can't believe that Gretchen actually got me a transporter room shower curtain for Christmas!

Mom:  Me either.  I cry every time I go in there.

Me:  Cry?  Why would you cry?

Mom:  It is ugly.

Me:  Mom, it is a transporter room!  When you get in the shower, you can beam to strange new worlds!  Don't you have any imagination?

Mom:  I like this world.  And I like a fancy bathroom.

Me:  Fancy?!  Mother, don't you realize that a transporter room has a lever that compensates for the Heisenberg uncertainty principle?  There is nothing fancier than a transporter room. 

Mom:  That is bullsh!t.  Besides, now you come in there too much and try to interrupt my pee time.  It's bad enough that the kitties won't let me use the bathroom alone, but now you stand out there jiggling and talking about beaming away.  It is very bad.

Me:  Okay, I will try to stop that.  But you have to admit, we now have a very cool bathroom.

Mom:  I will not admit that. 

Me:  But...

Mom:  And your sister is in serious trouble.

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