More Funniest Facebook Statuses

...and thank you, everyone, because I really needed them to distract me from the alarming sounds of my giant dead trees being cut down at last.

1. ...of COURSE that's where they keep the really cool wicker shotgun their lesbian great-great-aunties used to shoot a dude who clearly needed shootin'.  I mean, right? 
2. I have a new phobia! Wolf attacks.
3. I really appreciate the incompetence around me this morning. 
4. AND THERE ARE CRABS RUNNING FREE. 
5. I just met our Cengage rep, and he's just a little feller!
6.  Please, god, forgive me, I like a Miley song. 
7. I can hardly be bothered. It is August, after all.
8. What are the odds that someone else had a bat on his face within the last week?
9. The peppers they were selling were gorgeous, if genderless 
10. Mmm. This worm is good.