Yes, young padawan, the force is strange in these here parts. I'm only surprised that it took you this long to notice.
Apropos of that, I present for your amusement lines from my friends, relatives, and colleagues that I have collected and surreptitiously scrawled on post-it notes over the past few months. Each was supposed to begin a conversation, but, oddly enough, it completely failed to do so:
- "Oh my gosh! I have not peed all day!"
- "Paperclips remind me of deformed ears."
- "Let's be clear before we start: I do not want anyone to say anything about anything for the rest of the day!"
- "I'm here! No, wait! I'm not!"
- "I know that's fair, but I don't want it to be. Wait. Wasn't I just talking to someone else?"
- "I thought I dreamed that you died, but then I realized that was someone else's dream."
- "Ducks can park anywhere. Squirrels can't."
- "I win fifty cents if you limp today."
- "I don't really approve of melon."
- "Let's go ahead and square the triangle today."