Friday, June 26, 2015

My June 26, 2015 Facebook Feed Summarized

Ecstatic People Celebrating:  "Woo-hoo!  I can't believe it!  I am weeping with joy!"

More Ecstatic People Celebrating: "Here are some links to the Supreme Court's decision!  Lots gobbedy-goop, and then Moving Sentences of Freedom and Understanding and I Do Not Have Enough People to Hug!"

Grumpity Voice:  "SCOTUS is out of control.  The Chief Justice is not smart, and I don't like him."

Even More Ecstatic People Celebrating: "Look!  Cats on the Internet Celebrating Gay Marriage!  Now the Internet Has Everything!"

Ecstatic People Celebrating Movingly:  "I have just proposed!  Who is coming to my wedding?  Oh frabjous day!"

Grumpity Voice:  "I will quote Cicero at you.  Don't you understand natural law?"

Yet More Ecstatic People Celebrating:  "Rainbow images!  More rainbow images!  Where is George Takei's page?  Rainbow dyed kittens!"

Grumpity Voice:  "You should ask hippies about freedom and marriage."

All of the Ecstatic People Celebrating: "Wait, what?"

Grumpity Voice:  "Read Scalia: marriage is about sacred bondage."

Kind, Ecstatic People Celebrating: "We are so happy that we will ignore that!  You can read Fifty Shades of Grey if you want!  Here we have many shades of the rainbow!  Oh how long we have waited for this day!"

Grumpity Voice:  "I suppose it was inevitable.  Society is crumbling.  I am going to go over here and contemplate eternity for a while."

Ecstatic People Celebrating and Laughing and Crying All at Once:  "The vice president is wearing a rainbow flag as a cape and zooming all over the place like a madman!  I love this country!"

Grumpity Voice:  "Now everything is legal.  People will marry their own children.  Or siblings.  Or pets.  Or office furniture.  'Hello, George, this is my wife, Stapler.'"

Ecstatic and Bemused People Celebrating :  "You are losing your mind, aren't you?  Come here.  We will give you a hug."

Grumpity Voice:  "This is pure applesauce!"

Ecstatic People Celebrating:  "It is the applesauce of love, my friend, the applesauce of love."