Saturday, November 29, 2014

This Year's Funniest Responses to My Facebook Posts

So several of you have decided to use the spirit of this holiday weekend to chastise me for not posting more often.  I am, now, deeply ashamed.  However, Mom has decreed that ALL the laundry shall be done before Monday, so I really didn't have the time or energy to be creative today.  It was a serious conundrum, my friends, which vexed me for almost thirty-five unbearable minutes.  Then it finally occurred to me that you all are both energetic and creative, especially when it comes to writing snarky, humorous or confounding responses to my status updates on facebook.  Hence, I collected my ten favorite from 2014, and I present them to you for your amusement:

This Year's Funniest Responses to My Facebook Posts

  1. How many squirrels had to make the ultimate sacrifice for those Christmas towels to be purchased? 
  2.  I've never thought about threatening to burn skin off of faces. The things I learn from my online colleagues.
  3. All I got was a piece of candy cane stuck to my foot.
  4. Hey, Troilus, is that a love letter in your pocket, or...well...sorry.
  5. Perhaps one of the extra stockings belongs to Flamingo?
  6. I hesitate to wonder what a Dalek bathroom would entail.  Eliminate! Eliminate!!
  7. It looks like it would hold plenty of dead squirrels.
  8. Gnat, a raging angel.  Just right. [Note:  this one is funny because it was posted by my provost.  Who understands me all too well.]
  9. Well, we all know that penis-sucking-vaginas are real people-pleasers.  [Note:  not posted by my provost.] 
  10. I have plenty of unused lampshades since I have given up wearing them lately.
Actually, these aren't as funny out of context as I thought they would be.  In fact, this whole post kind of sucks.  But I'm going to hit the little "publish" button anyway, so I can go do more laundry and throw some pots without some guilt-trip bringing me down. Satisfied?  Good.

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