Rise of Skywalker: Likes, Dislikes, and Don't Cares

Ah, so I have received two requests that I get off my derriere and post my thoughts on Rise of Skywalker.  I warn you: some of you will be disappointed.  I do not care that much about continuity or how the force works or anything in Star Wars.  Star Wars has never felt like real science fiction to me, and I don't expect or demand much from it.  I like it to have strong female characters (who don't "die of a broken heart") and some mildly cool scenes that don't center around the edge-of-your-seat tensions of a trade embargo.  I appreciate the increased racial diversity in this recent trilogy, and I detest Joseph Campbell-style jungian-lite symbolism, so my childhood was not "destroyed" by Luke getting all crotchety.

So here is a list of my Likes, Dislikes, and Things I Don't Care About in this last film.

Likes

• Rey calling Leia “master”
• Poe and Finn wondering if Rey uses the Force to change them into friendly dinks like she does with the stormtroopers
• Leia’s lightsaber
• Chewy’s genuine devastation when Leia dies
• Chewy finally getting his medal
• Poe having to admit he was a spice dealer and Finn harassing him about it
• Threepio just being Threepio, film after film, as if he’s the way Anakin accidentally brought balance to the franchise
• Finn trying desperately to hold onto Rey and help her against Kylo Ren
• Kylo Ren finally dying
• Rey hearing the voices of all the jedi
• Rey using two lightsabers, Ahsoka Tano-style, to destroy Palpatine
• The last scene on Tatooine
• Babu Frik

Dislikes

• Avoiding a romance between Poe and Finn and substituting a blink-and-you-missed it kiss for two other characters instead
• Rose’s character not getting enough screen time
• Luke and Leia not telling Rey she’s a Palpatine even though Obi-wan and Yoda not telling them they are Vader’s kids totally screwed them up for decades
• Kylo Ren getting redemption
• Kylo and Rey kissing—ick!

Things I Don’t Care About Because This Is Star Wars and Things Have Not Made Sense Since “Parsec” Was a Measure of Time and the Death Star Could Be Destroyed with One Shot No Matter How Much They Tried to Fix These Things Later, This Is Not Real Science Fiction Please Get Ahold of Yourself

• The Millennium Falcon skipping around in lightspeed or whatever
• Palpatine somehow finding enough kyber crystals to make a thousand death star lasers
• Threepio not just piloting the ship to the place described on the knife if he can’t translate sith language
• A “dyad in the force”
• Palpatine hanging from a big hook