Mandalorian, Episode 2

Yes, I am going on with this because I am up too early, my friends, after staying up too late.

Right.  So in this episode there is a little lizard.  I do not know why.  Apparently, Baby Yoda likes watching these baby lizards, but the Mandalorian just sort of kicks them out of the way.  It is still in its little floaty chair like the one Yoda had in Episodes 1-3.  Where did it get this chair?

Okay, now all the music and sound stops for a long, dramatic pause while Things are reflected in the Mandalorian’s armor.  Is this why he does not decorate it like Sabine Wren does hers?  I’m not getting past that any time soon.

Anyway, some orange guys jump out at them, and there is a fight scene.  Baby Yoda just watches, totally chill.  I can see that not much disturbs this child.

The Mandalorian has a wound, and he tries to fix his armor, but he’s not doing a very good job.  Ah, Baby Yoda gets out of his floaty chair and points his little 3-fingered hand with a look of concentration—this means it can use the Force.  Do all the green guys have the power to use the Force?  If so, the Mandalorian doesn’t know it, because he keeps putting the baby back in the floaty chair instead of letting it heal him.  You would think the reputation of Yoda’s species would be well known.  I mean, he and Yaddie were on the Jedi Council, and wouldn’t there have been wanted posters for Yoda under the Empire?  Surely old Palpatine wanted him caught.  Anyway, I am losing track of this episode. 

Okay, the Mandalorian is climbing up the big moving truck that the jawas use.  Jawas?  We are on Tatooine?  They do not like him.  They taunt him and throw things at him from the top of the truck just like the French in Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail.  And…boom, he falls down.  Well, that wasn’t very heroic.  He was beaten by jawas throwing garbage at him.

I see, the jawas have stripped his ship.  It won’t go.  But in this scene Baby Yoda makes an expression and that fills in for the fact that nothing much is happening here.

Off to see the Ugnaught.  The internets tell me that he is called Kuiil and is played by..Nick Nolte?  Really?  That’s…huh.  They talk about the ship or something, but I don’t care at all because Baby Yoda catches a frog and tries to eat it and totally steals the scene.

So they have to try to trade with the jawas to get the parts to put the ship back together, and for a bounty hunter this Mandalorian is a really bad trader.  He fires a flame-thrower at the jawas during negotiations!  Well, that will make the price go up.  I get the feeling that patience and intelligence are not high on the list of the Mandalorian’s personal virtues.

They have to get an egg.  Okay, jawas like eggs.  They seem to like them a whole lot.  There must be a CGI monster involved.

 And, of course, there is.  This seems to be the second manly feat of manhood: defeat the giant, mud-covered CGI rhinoceros and steal its egg.  The writers appear to play a lot of video games.

Now the Mandalorian is covered in mud, and this rhino is no joke.  It laughs at the flame-thrower!  It splashes mud in a fury!  No more shiny armor.  But…what is this?!  Baby Yoda has levitated the rhino!  Judge him by his adorable size, do you?!  Ah, it is too much for

Baby Yoda, and it passes out.  The Mandalorian sticks an 8-inch knife in the rhino and kills it.  What?  That does not seem likely.  Anyway, he has the egg, and the jawas eat it raw.  They appear to be enjoying themselves, and I guess this is the whole plot of this episode.

Hmm…okay, there is more.  They use a big sleigh to haul the ship parts, then there is an 80’s style montage of…putting the ship back together.  But…why is this a montage?  Baby Yoda eventually wakes up, and neither the Mandalorian nor Pig Nolte seem to know what the Force is.  Also, the Mandalorian offers Pig Nolte a job, but he has spoken.  Several times.  Now we fly away from Tatooine, and good riddance.

This is kind of like a really slow moving space Western or something.  I don’t know.  It’s good that it has Baby Yoda, though, because action-packed, it is not.  I have not seen season 4 of the Expanse yet; I should be watching that instead.