March 31: It
is the middle of the night. The night belongs to me! This must stop. The human
has covered her face with half a paper plate and is angrily shouting with some
horrific, terrible musical soundtrack. I do not know who Andrew Lloyd Webber
is, but I hope someone drops a chandelier on HIM.
April 1: The
human fed us on time today, spent the morning cleaning, uttering only minor
expletives about "damned internet connection," and then has spent the
mid-day typing into the cat warming machine. Is it possible she can be
domesticated after all?
April 2: The
human woke up at an acceptable time today, but provided the wrong flavor food,
something to which I had to draw her attention by knocking over her glass of
iced coffee. Twice. FINALLY, she become aware of her error and provided a tuna
substitute. Acceptable. But I expect better service tomorrow.
Update
from Spike the Other Cat: Mom doing puzzles. Puzzles are yummy. Need to be
washed first, though.
April 3: The
human has started a new and somewhat worrying behavior. She has been asking the
throw pillows "which ones of you would like to live in the bedroom this
week? Is anyone unhappy with this sofa? Who would like to move to the
loveseat?" She also praised the dishes for coming out of the dishwasher
"all sparkling and ready to meet the world!" It is possible that her
lack of contact with others of her kind is dangerous to her mental health.
April 4: A better day today. The human was quiet and
productive, providing treats and even sharing her dinner with us. Has she
adapted to her confinement? Or is this merely a lull?
April 5: The
human is now referring to her living room chair as the "command
chair," and she spent 25 minutes today explaining to Spike that his
"position is at the ops station" and pointing at the loveseat. She
also berated me for "falling asleep at the conn!" I am relentlessly
ignoring her and hoping her hallucinations pass quickly.
April 6: Not much
to report today. The human did not exit the dwelling, but did open all of the
windows and shout "the outside be inside!" far too loudly. I was able
to nap in the breeze.
April 7: So
many boxes have been delivered! But am I allowed to keep any?! No! The human
keeps slicing them into uselessness and removing them from the domicile. The
orange cat and I do not agree on much, but we concur on the outrageousness of
this behavior.
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