Real Conversation with Mom: Poof!

Me:  "You are in big trouble, Madame!"

Mom:  "No, I am not.  I am your sweet and wonderful mother."

Me:  "My sweet and wonderful mother would not tell me to take a nap and then steal my glass of wine."

Mom:  "That glass is right where you left it."

Me:  "True. Yet it no longer holds any wine.  That was my celebration glass of wine!"

Mom:  "No, it was my it's-raining-and-my-arthritis-hurts glass of wine. If I drank it.  I did not drink it."

Me:  "Are you saying that one of the cats drank it?"

Mom:  "No, no.  It must have just disappeared--poof!"

Me:  "Poof?!"

Mom:  "Poof.  And you know why it did that?"

Me:  "It did not do that; you drank my wine!"

Mom:  "It went poof because you went around bragging that you turned your grades in and made all of the other professors feel bad.  You do that every time, and finally you are being punished.  Poof!"

Me:  "You are a terrible mother who drank my wine!  Admit it!"

Mom:  "Poof!  Poof poof poof!"

Me:  "My head hurts."

Mom: "See?  You are being punished.  Pain and poof.  Next time you will treat people better."

Me:  "Next time, I will drink the wine faster!"

Mom:  "Tee-hee!  Poof!"