I am not good with the texting.
I am good with stealing the amusing ideas of others, however, so here, my precious ones, is a list of the most...er, strange?...text messages that I have sent to the wrong person or persons over the last few years. I will point out that, naturally, almost all of them made perfect sense in context, a context which, alas, the textees did not in fact have.
Natalie's Worst Misdirected Texts
(some with Amusing Autocorrect Fails included!)
- It's the cab that has been shamed.
- I am mad at the rabbit
- Getting dressed then going to meet a feather striker. Stroker. Whatever.
- Dildos on Wednesday night, yes?
- No, no! Klingon. Silurians don't need them due to claws.
- I have cut myself in the face with my debit card.
- Might have to start calling you Sir. Or Batman.
- To all the people who received my misdirected text: please do not be alarmed. I do not have cholera.
- If I planned better, I would have minions for when I get dick.
- The humid air outside is just a nighthawk when you have brontosaurus
- Mom is drinking mudslides at airport. I have a cherry cough drop.
- Godzilla RAWR!
- Frustrated by that reign today.
- Everyone's arguing about the length of their pants. Feel like stabbing myself in the eye.
- Creepy lights stopped. Resume normal operations.
- The migraines are little people trying to escape from their heads.
- Not with sugar, no.
- It zips!
- Getting rid of the last of the fetuses and old electric outlets
- Don't ever touch it if it's wet.
- No, the little puppet version was naked in the cage.
- I really think that approach is, aside from boring, paleographically unsound.
- I seem to have sent that text to ten people. I suck at sexting.
- Elastic druids are the hot new toy.
- I am quite stunned by all of these dragon vaginas.
