Mom: "I'm still mad at that guy who cut the cheese."
Me: "Um..what?"
Mom: "That guy who cut the cheese! He stood there for half an hour, doing it over and over to get it just right. I wanted to smack him."
Me: "Maybe you should have called him a doctor."
Mom: "What the hell are you talking about?! He was cutting the cheese!"
Me: "Half an hour is a long time to perform that bodily function."
Mom: "What are you talking about?"
Me: "What are you talking about?"
Mom: "The guy who cut my cheese at the deli."
Me: "Oh. I thought it was some random guy farting."
Mom: "Farting?"
Me: "You know, cutting the cheese?"
Mom: "Great. Now there are two people I want to slap today."
